Train of thoughts ...

Hi, I am back.
It's office hours now. Well, I completed my stuff. Waiting for samantha to get back to me than I can seek boss approval to go ahead with the prints. Anyway to continue on how God blessed me back. He provided me this freelance job which was the amount I gave for building fund and on top of that he provided me with continuous assignments from this company. =D

Going to genting this friday to sunday. I hope and wish to really enjoy myself. Oh yes. I'll be going to MIS later.
So I hope everything goes smoothly for me too.

I have alot to blog about. About myself. About the things that happen. I believe God was dealing with me in the area of my emotions. Something happen last week and causes some "stuff" to happen. I would not want to explain so explicitly over here. However, the truth finally sank in. J took a step back after things happen. Two hands to clap but whatever was done, I knew that God was moulding and showing me that I have really got to wake up to my senses. It wasnt the emotional attachement that overwhelmed me. It I felt that I was losing a friend but more about the self - reproach that was going through within me. Emotions flactuates up and down inside of me. And I was wondering why J just can ignore about it. ( That reminds me of when I saw this book at attributes, it says something that woman need to know about man and Man see sex as different thing from woman.) Cool book.

Anyway, back to the story. yah I was reproaching myself. And Now GOd was really dealing with me. He gave me a revelation about myself and things that happen in my 23 years of living.

Qtns such as : Why I do what I do? or Why they do what they do.

Where do all these started? Does man really view things differently from woman? Does J even really know what I am feeling? At that moment I doubt that cos if he knew I would not have felt that way. It just makes me feel that guys are just irresponsible. Well, I am that kind of person You need to speak right into my heart even I have a problem. But I know Jerri is like me. Even without him telling me anything. Because I studied him. His actions, his language, his words, his family, his mindset.

God, he needs to have a vision, a dream from you for his life. You fill him with your everlasting love. Teach him how to love when others are not loveable. Teach him how to forgive and let go the things when people let him down and God also for good relationship in the family.

We ( I classified as we because we both wish for the same thing) We long to have our own family, have a wife/husband and have kids and form our so called "love nest". But the truth is many people do not understand is Whatever you left with your " old "family will be brought over to your own " new" family. That's why the phrase - Like father like son, or like mother like daughter came about. The truth we always seem to think that we wont be like our parents and stuff but high chances is we tend to be like them cause that how they brought us up. Whether we like it or not thats the truth.

Another thing is J cant love a person. Simply because he is closed up. Love = freedom. I know no matter what, even he can claim he love someone but I know in his heart is not fully cause He is too hurt, too tired and fears ecludes him. Hey bro, dun be silly k.

I went kota tinggi with lots of questions at the back of my mind. But I decided to go and have fun. Erm, Yah to certain extend I have some amount of fun. I had great time with Winson cause during this trip i get to know him better. That's the whole point I go for this trip is to bond with my colleagues. And yah, I got closer to rennie and elton too. Cool la.

During dinner, I let winson read my palm.. Forgot how we derived to there. But he say I am a very complicated person and I think too much. Bingo Man. That was the qtn I ask Jimmy on Fri nite. I ask him Am I thinking too much? I think I think too much. But its so uncontrollable. So He actually told me I might migrate out of Singapore. So weird. haha. Anyway, he din say much cause he say that I am too complicated to see. haha.

Anyway, yah Kota Tinggi firelies I sat with him in the boat. He is like a little kid. So cute. ( check out my facebook for photos man) He wanted to catch the fireflies den i was like holding his jacket in case he fall over the boat. haha. But elton caught it. 3 Cheers for you man!

In the bus, he was sharing with me alot of things. which is similar to what i learn during bible study last wed.

Your Belief System + Your Values = Conceive as thinking/ thought patterns = Determine your actions = Define your reality/ destiny and in between the linking factor? I realised emotions takes place.

Well, sunday service I bought Joyce Meyer book at attributes. " Managing Your Emotions" - She is a great female author and of faith and definitely a woman of God. I love her books. Knowledge is Power and I really dont to be where I am now. I hope I can break through this. God help me!!

I will blog more about what I learn from the book next time round. And I hope with what I have I wanna help my friends, people around me.

And lastly, Jerri, if you read this. I love you. Hugs. =D ( Don't anyhow think)