It's been a long time since i really blog. Initially was because mu tou uses wad I write to come against me. well. wadever. I have been busy. berri bussi. due to projects. I was upset abt mu tou but my studies have help me in the extend tat i have to tell myself tat I got to be focus and do my projects if not i am nt goin to have good grades. Anyway mu tou test has past, hope he does well. I piang the projects like siao. and apparently some pple din do much also. Jane has decided to quit school. So like on the week of submission she told me. so apparently for both projects i felt like an individual project. but wth. Now i just wish i can pass hopefully with good results. now i am so tired. and i feel haunted to do the card and everything else related to church. it just puts me off. anyway, i dun want to do it. JUst treat it I have no love. I am jsut freakin tired.
Scram off. Everyone.
My wish n0w is sleeping or watchin SCV or goin for a short trip. I dun like crowds. I prefer one or 2 person. kinda affair. so meets up i prefer tat too.
So no more groups. Can u imagine. i would rather read a book den to go out in groups. SO unlike me. sigh. but i kinda lookin forward to bird park and bbq. ciao.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Thursday, August 14, 2008
a word in season - categorize your love
today i went for pm again.
I prayed to God to give me a new word. And yah. I prayed n prayed nothing came.
SO yes we sang one of my favourite own church song.
You are the peace that guards my heart,
my help in time of need
You are the hope that leads me on and brings me to my knees.
FOr there i find you waiting, and there i find release,
and with all my heart i worship and unto u i sing,
for you alone deserves all glory,
for you alone deserves all praise.
Father we love you and adore you father we long to see ur face,
for you alone deserves all glory,
for you alone deserves all praise.
Father we love you and and we worship you this day.
yup. sigh. sob.
Anyway, it was then as i begin to worship GOd,
he began to put a word in me.
He ask me to learn to categorize my love.
I prayed to God to give me a new word. And yah. I prayed n prayed nothing came.
SO yes we sang one of my favourite own church song.
You are the peace that guards my heart,
my help in time of need
You are the hope that leads me on and brings me to my knees.
FOr there i find you waiting, and there i find release,
and with all my heart i worship and unto u i sing,
for you alone deserves all glory,
for you alone deserves all praise.
Father we love you and adore you father we long to see ur face,
for you alone deserves all glory,
for you alone deserves all praise.
Father we love you and and we worship you this day.
yup. sigh. sob.
Anyway, it was then as i begin to worship GOd,
he began to put a word in me.
He ask me to learn to categorize my love.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
mu tou young
Hi,
I am msging mu tou again. just tat i din send the msg. or when i ever realli wanna send mu tou a msg i just blog. haiz. MU TOU!!.
I dun want to disturb him. I guess i am giving him alot of stress and yah. He has lots to managed.
I was free on tues n wed but i din do much due to lack of focus and concentration. And I was watching the 9pm show. I think Fann Wong played the role sounds so familliar.
haiz. mu tou mu tou. wei wei mu tou young.
WRU. :(
I am msging mu tou again. just tat i din send the msg. or when i ever realli wanna send mu tou a msg i just blog. haiz. MU TOU!!.
I dun want to disturb him. I guess i am giving him alot of stress and yah. He has lots to managed.
I was free on tues n wed but i din do much due to lack of focus and concentration. And I was watching the 9pm show. I think Fann Wong played the role sounds so familliar.
haiz. mu tou mu tou. wei wei mu tou young.
WRU. :(
Bie zhou
Hi there,
I din managed to wake up to go for prayer meeting this morning. Couldnt wake up. was late for work too. sigh. Woke up with a swollen eye due to the late nite tears i shed yest. I miss mu tou.
I controlled myself so hard not to call n sms mu tou cos i dun want to give him additional pressure due to his papa condition. I hope his papa op will be a success and he will recover soon.
Sigh. I guess I noe mu tou so much more yest.
Within myself, no matter how much mu tou try to push me away and no matter how hard he is or how nasty he tries to be to me intentionally or unintentionally. He is part of me. =( haiz.
Clone, slap me ba.
Within all these while, I hope wad I think abt mu tou is rite. But only time will tell. But sometimes he being hard from the moment i noe him, he indirectly shows me alot. And i guess mu tou saw alot of me. Mu tou. I trust him and I trust my judgement.
Dont go.
Mu tou, i will load this youtube song the next entry. for you. HUGS !!!
I din managed to wake up to go for prayer meeting this morning. Couldnt wake up. was late for work too. sigh. Woke up with a swollen eye due to the late nite tears i shed yest. I miss mu tou.
I controlled myself so hard not to call n sms mu tou cos i dun want to give him additional pressure due to his papa condition. I hope his papa op will be a success and he will recover soon.
Sigh. I guess I noe mu tou so much more yest.
Within myself, no matter how much mu tou try to push me away and no matter how hard he is or how nasty he tries to be to me intentionally or unintentionally. He is part of me. =( haiz.
Clone, slap me ba.
Within all these while, I hope wad I think abt mu tou is rite. But only time will tell. But sometimes he being hard from the moment i noe him, he indirectly shows me alot. And i guess mu tou saw alot of me. Mu tou. I trust him and I trust my judgement.
Dont go.
Mu tou, i will load this youtube song the next entry. for you. HUGS !!!
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Dun go baby!
I have alot of things to blog but i am not in the right state to blog anything. I need to study but i cant. Mu tou says its all in the mind. seriously i cant. and i feel like i am suffering from depression because i cant eat. and watever goes in comes out. my stomach feels queasy, my heart is heavy, i have no peace. I am so upset. i lost myself.
Seriously, the things tat mu tou did is bad enuff to make me hurt myself. I am not tat strong.
Mu tou, dun go. =(
You always been a part of me.
Seriously, the things tat mu tou did is bad enuff to make me hurt myself. I am not tat strong.
Mu tou, dun go. =(
You always been a part of me.
Monday, August 11, 2008
An early tuesday morning
Hi Today is tues and I am early, because I went for prayer meetin. I pluck myself out of bed. haha.
Well, talk to mu tou yest nite. He was so not himself. in fact he was like ARGH.. yah. so not himself. I know he was breakin apart. The way he talk n reacted. And yah. i guess he wants to be left alone for now. and i guess i shld. In fact i was upset yest. cos wadever he spoke of has thorns in his words and i guess, a person who is hurt will tend to hurt others. contagious i guess. and now he has to cope with studies and work. but his piority is his family.
2 results. either he will want to spend more time with his family or maybe he is too fed up dat he wanna run away.
Today, soemthing spoke to me while i was on the way to singpost. Let him learn and grow himself. I guess to a certain extend. I guess I gotta let him rest.
Many thoughts came to me this morning unknowingly. but at such I seem to remember.
But i noe when i was praying for mu tou n family it was the spirit praying cos out of the belly came utterance. My heart was heavy. But i know God hears. He begin to impart faith into me.
I dunno. suddenly yest. I felt mu tou was at the brim. or almost. sigh. i felt helpless seriously.
Today i begin to realised something when i begin to step into heart of God church. All humans are weak and all will fall. but i realised something special abt people who has GOd in their lives. they pick up fast. 7 times you will fall but 7 times stronger you will come up. thats wad bible says.
haiz i realised something, " sorry seems to be the hardest word" for mu tou. I realised he never says dem. and I am hurt by wad he says. I mean he wanna hurt me hurt all the way lor. say like dun be his friend and from his heart he says that I let people make use of. :( like wth! I mean if you wnana say den say it all. haiz. some times i feel like crackin his head. n take out his rubbish.
I just spoke to glenn cos he is a runner. I ask him abt mu tou's pa condition. Now i noe the seriousness of it. N i cant blame him for reactin tat way. I understood the consequences of the situation. God, bring every disappointment to a new appointment!
I begin to understand. Everything was done so that you would come.
Well, talk to mu tou yest nite. He was so not himself. in fact he was like ARGH.. yah. so not himself. I know he was breakin apart. The way he talk n reacted. And yah. i guess he wants to be left alone for now. and i guess i shld. In fact i was upset yest. cos wadever he spoke of has thorns in his words and i guess, a person who is hurt will tend to hurt others. contagious i guess. and now he has to cope with studies and work. but his piority is his family.
2 results. either he will want to spend more time with his family or maybe he is too fed up dat he wanna run away.
Today, soemthing spoke to me while i was on the way to singpost. Let him learn and grow himself. I guess to a certain extend. I guess I gotta let him rest.
Many thoughts came to me this morning unknowingly. but at such I seem to remember.
But i noe when i was praying for mu tou n family it was the spirit praying cos out of the belly came utterance. My heart was heavy. But i know God hears. He begin to impart faith into me.
I dunno. suddenly yest. I felt mu tou was at the brim. or almost. sigh. i felt helpless seriously.
Today i begin to realised something when i begin to step into heart of God church. All humans are weak and all will fall. but i realised something special abt people who has GOd in their lives. they pick up fast. 7 times you will fall but 7 times stronger you will come up. thats wad bible says.
haiz i realised something, " sorry seems to be the hardest word" for mu tou. I realised he never says dem. and I am hurt by wad he says. I mean he wanna hurt me hurt all the way lor. say like dun be his friend and from his heart he says that I let people make use of. :( like wth! I mean if you wnana say den say it all. haiz. some times i feel like crackin his head. n take out his rubbish.
I just spoke to glenn cos he is a runner. I ask him abt mu tou's pa condition. Now i noe the seriousness of it. N i cant blame him for reactin tat way. I understood the consequences of the situation. God, bring every disappointment to a new appointment!
I begin to understand. Everything was done so that you would come.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
stubborness/ rebelliousness and pride
mu tou told called me at 1230. I slept le but i was glad he called back. for one moment
i tot i was dreaming. spoke to him.
He said i can be stubborn n humble at the same time. at tat pt i was like brain dead so i didnt realli reply it.
The truth is stubborness and humility can never co-exist.
Stubborn means wad?
this is from the dictionary.
1.unreasonably obstinate; obstinately unmoving: a stubborn child.
2.fixed or set in purpose or opinion; resolute: a stubborn opponent of foreign aid.
3.obstinately maintained, as a course of action: a stubborn resistance.
4.difficult to manage or suppress: a stubborn horse; a stubborn pain.
5.hard, tough, or stiff, as stone or wood; difficult to shape or work.
—Synonyms 1. contrary, intractable, refractory, unyielding, headstrong, obdurate. 2. persevering. Stubborn, dogged, obstinate, persistent imply fixity of purpose or condition and resistance to change. Stubborn and obstinate both imply resistance to advice, entreaty, remonstrance, or force; but stubborn implies more of innate quality and is the more frequently used when referring to inanimate things: stubborn disposition; stubborn difficulties. Dogged implies pertinacity and grimness in doing something, esp. in the face of discouragements: dogged determination. Persistent implies having staying or lasting qualities, resoluteness, and perseverance: persistent questioning.
stubborness and rebellious person usually thinks tat they are rite. therefore refuses to change, and if strong pride stays, even when the person noes he /she is wrong, he still insist that he/she is rite.
Stubborn pple tends to always want to win. sigh.
We all need illumination of the mind i guess. Mu tou. dun be so stubborn. lets learn k. dun reject this k. rem i told u, u gt to be open n willing.
i tot i was dreaming. spoke to him.
He said i can be stubborn n humble at the same time. at tat pt i was like brain dead so i didnt realli reply it.
The truth is stubborness and humility can never co-exist.
Stubborn means wad?
this is from the dictionary.
1.unreasonably obstinate; obstinately unmoving: a stubborn child.
2.fixed or set in purpose or opinion; resolute: a stubborn opponent of foreign aid.
3.obstinately maintained, as a course of action: a stubborn resistance.
4.difficult to manage or suppress: a stubborn horse; a stubborn pain.
5.hard, tough, or stiff, as stone or wood; difficult to shape or work.
—Synonyms 1. contrary, intractable, refractory, unyielding, headstrong, obdurate. 2. persevering. Stubborn, dogged, obstinate, persistent imply fixity of purpose or condition and resistance to change. Stubborn and obstinate both imply resistance to advice, entreaty, remonstrance, or force; but stubborn implies more of innate quality and is the more frequently used when referring to inanimate things: stubborn disposition; stubborn difficulties. Dogged implies pertinacity and grimness in doing something, esp. in the face of discouragements: dogged determination. Persistent implies having staying or lasting qualities, resoluteness, and perseverance: persistent questioning.
stubborness and rebellious person usually thinks tat they are rite. therefore refuses to change, and if strong pride stays, even when the person noes he /she is wrong, he still insist that he/she is rite.
Stubborn pple tends to always want to win. sigh.
We all need illumination of the mind i guess. Mu tou. dun be so stubborn. lets learn k. dun reject this k. rem i told u, u gt to be open n willing.
a veri long mu tou's blog.
Hihi,
Things have been flooding my mind these few days but i din managed to blog it down.
Fri went to settlers and i was early so i went to this place near settlers. yah did soemthing hopefully it will bring me good results. This shall be a mystery.
Anyway, din sleep well tat nite. i kinda waited for mu tou to reply me till abt 2. so i guess he wun call back n stuff. He got me worried. Perhaps like he said i over reacted. seriously maybe yes n no. depends on how u see it. He is the directive person while i am the analytical person. I think so much till, soemtiems i got answers n things go hay-wired.
Missed my class on thurs cos i so wanted to meet mu tou. i was controlling my emotions. He seems to like to fluatuate my emotions. High n low. sigh. I could not have any adverse reaction till the moment i enter the cab. i cover my mouth n started crying so hard. cos i did not want to make any noise. my heart shattered. Can u believe wad i hear? OMG. After so much things happen he told me nothing matters to him.
while waiting for him behind the petrol kiosk. things fluatuate my mind n overwhelm me. its not just den. it was a accumulative of thoughts. Why i cried even harder while waiting for him?
anyway. huizhen spoke to me after the games. She asked me how was I. What she told me realli make whole hell of sense!
She told me to pace myself. Even she being a cgl also must pace herself if not sure burn out. and she said thats the reason why pple left church. No more oil to burn to sustain.
She told me to do things that makes me happy at least once a week even though it can be realli out of point.
And she told me this. Direct HIT!
She said:
God has place that talent n ability in you. and I can see that i you are and you desire for great things in my life. BUt great things does not onli consist only talents and abilities to excel. It requires consistency. THe faithfulness to do things whether rain or shine, feel like it or not.
If GOd has given u the ability to influence pple den dun waste it.
She goes on to talk abt last week service msg, Grow up when you grow old. It talks abt responsibility and accountability.
It takes character to hold ur success and not just great talents and abilities.
I need to yield myself to GOd more rather den relyin on my own strength. ( my flaw la) like wad mu tou say (nu qiang zhe )
I ask her how to cure stubborness / rebelliousness and she said every one is to a certain extend.
It got to be our own decision. No one can change us except ourselves, not ur friends not even God himself. Cos he wun touch ur will. when i heard tat i was like... hmm.. tats not realli an answer but yah perhaps like wad I told mu tou. willingness.
I guess it has to do with servanthood.- humility and willingness.
Anyway, enuff of tat.
I been trying to decode wad mu tou meant n i would say the answer usually somehow will come within myself. sometimes strangely even without me thinking it jus comes. by inspiration i guess.
Now i noe why mu tou wanna walk away. as in i stand in his shoes. knowing wad kind of person I am, knowing what kind of person is he oso. and what his ah say b4. He dun wanan hurt me.
WHy, he said i was too nice. but why? he said i was a pretty gal? but why? simple. He gave me one chance but its gone. n noe he say no feel. ok see. tat time he is willing and wanted n wants to put in the effort to try den got fruits but now perhaps he tasted n he dun like it.
Perhaps I am not his cup of tea. and perhaps. he noes tat in order to make me happy as in real happiness is to love me back n he noes he cant so he chose nt to hurt me n leave. like wad his ah ma say. And mu tou said i was too complicated for him. and maybe i am too gan chiong spider for him. sigh.
TOday during service. I was veri burden. with wad mu tou told me. It came to me during service. I cried out to GOd to help mu tou. I dunno why, its in me. I seem to be able to feel mu tou ( the messiness) I dunno it came to me in a vision. the struggles / hurts / etc. ( i cant put it into words). haiz.
A vision came for myself today, prophesy and discernment. young man shall see visions and old man shall dream dreams.
ANyway i think my blog damn long. ok everyone is asking me out but i leave no room for anyone. mm.. n mu tou is not back from ah ma hse.
tml morning gotta wake up early togo for prayer meeting b4 work. I am making this effort because i want to see a miracle. for myself n mu tou n oso for mu tou pa n ma.
Use me. Lord.
Ciao.
Mu tou sa.
Things have been flooding my mind these few days but i din managed to blog it down.
Fri went to settlers and i was early so i went to this place near settlers. yah did soemthing hopefully it will bring me good results. This shall be a mystery.
Anyway, din sleep well tat nite. i kinda waited for mu tou to reply me till abt 2. so i guess he wun call back n stuff. He got me worried. Perhaps like he said i over reacted. seriously maybe yes n no. depends on how u see it. He is the directive person while i am the analytical person. I think so much till, soemtiems i got answers n things go hay-wired.
Missed my class on thurs cos i so wanted to meet mu tou. i was controlling my emotions. He seems to like to fluatuate my emotions. High n low. sigh. I could not have any adverse reaction till the moment i enter the cab. i cover my mouth n started crying so hard. cos i did not want to make any noise. my heart shattered. Can u believe wad i hear? OMG. After so much things happen he told me nothing matters to him.
while waiting for him behind the petrol kiosk. things fluatuate my mind n overwhelm me. its not just den. it was a accumulative of thoughts. Why i cried even harder while waiting for him?
anyway. huizhen spoke to me after the games. She asked me how was I. What she told me realli make whole hell of sense!
She told me to pace myself. Even she being a cgl also must pace herself if not sure burn out. and she said thats the reason why pple left church. No more oil to burn to sustain.
She told me to do things that makes me happy at least once a week even though it can be realli out of point.
And she told me this. Direct HIT!
She said:
God has place that talent n ability in you. and I can see that i you are and you desire for great things in my life. BUt great things does not onli consist only talents and abilities to excel. It requires consistency. THe faithfulness to do things whether rain or shine, feel like it or not.
If GOd has given u the ability to influence pple den dun waste it.
She goes on to talk abt last week service msg, Grow up when you grow old. It talks abt responsibility and accountability.
It takes character to hold ur success and not just great talents and abilities.
I need to yield myself to GOd more rather den relyin on my own strength. ( my flaw la) like wad mu tou say (nu qiang zhe )
I ask her how to cure stubborness / rebelliousness and she said every one is to a certain extend.
It got to be our own decision. No one can change us except ourselves, not ur friends not even God himself. Cos he wun touch ur will. when i heard tat i was like... hmm.. tats not realli an answer but yah perhaps like wad I told mu tou. willingness.
I guess it has to do with servanthood.- humility and willingness.
Anyway, enuff of tat.
I been trying to decode wad mu tou meant n i would say the answer usually somehow will come within myself. sometimes strangely even without me thinking it jus comes. by inspiration i guess.
Now i noe why mu tou wanna walk away. as in i stand in his shoes. knowing wad kind of person I am, knowing what kind of person is he oso. and what his ah say b4. He dun wanan hurt me.
WHy, he said i was too nice. but why? he said i was a pretty gal? but why? simple. He gave me one chance but its gone. n noe he say no feel. ok see. tat time he is willing and wanted n wants to put in the effort to try den got fruits but now perhaps he tasted n he dun like it.
Perhaps I am not his cup of tea. and perhaps. he noes tat in order to make me happy as in real happiness is to love me back n he noes he cant so he chose nt to hurt me n leave. like wad his ah ma say. And mu tou said i was too complicated for him. and maybe i am too gan chiong spider for him. sigh.
TOday during service. I was veri burden. with wad mu tou told me. It came to me during service. I cried out to GOd to help mu tou. I dunno why, its in me. I seem to be able to feel mu tou ( the messiness) I dunno it came to me in a vision. the struggles / hurts / etc. ( i cant put it into words). haiz.
A vision came for myself today, prophesy and discernment. young man shall see visions and old man shall dream dreams.
ANyway i think my blog damn long. ok everyone is asking me out but i leave no room for anyone. mm.. n mu tou is not back from ah ma hse.
tml morning gotta wake up early togo for prayer meeting b4 work. I am making this effort because i want to see a miracle. for myself n mu tou n oso for mu tou pa n ma.
Use me. Lord.
Ciao.
Mu tou sa.
Friday, August 8, 2008
sianology
I AM FEELING SO SO SO SO SIAN!
Its like i understand why mu tou will smoke. It feels like sianology cum tired cum moodless cum bored. and perhaps smoking is like to "entertain" self.
Going out feels sian - go where? with who?
Staying at hm is like sian do what?
Watching a show n movie is like duh
Going shopping n eating is like duh.
Just morbit. Like emily.
No water, no nutrients, no life
Ironically, I am finding pple to go out with me but the thing is no one. No. there are alot just tat i dun wanna go out with dem.
Tot of calling leonard - go for snails meetin yummi. fine dining. he has been complaining tat i veri long never meet him.
Tot of calling kane - but i better let him rest although he been asking out many times. so he called me few days back n book me at the end of the month. haha.
Tot of calling my gals - yah mm. they complained movie too late.
I dun realli feel like goin for cell. yah
mm.. I have quit singing. Mu tou did ask me continue. eh my voice nice meh. It sounds like shit man. haiz. maybe because my expectation too high ba or rather i feel i need to improve more. but thanks mu tou for the compliment. =) at least i noe if i ever got an album u will prob be the first to get it. wahha.
tried calling clone. he din answer the phone! haiz. mu tou oso not free. tml national day. yah i have dedicate the day to myself and my books n lappy. study and project belongs to me.
actualli i hope mu tou's free but yah. he is not. and its good tat mu tou has alot of family bonding.
mu tou. xin tong. yong gan. liao jie. ai ni. chong dong.
Its like i understand why mu tou will smoke. It feels like sianology cum tired cum moodless cum bored. and perhaps smoking is like to "entertain" self.
Going out feels sian - go where? with who?
Staying at hm is like sian do what?
Watching a show n movie is like duh
Going shopping n eating is like duh.
Just morbit. Like emily.
No water, no nutrients, no life
Ironically, I am finding pple to go out with me but the thing is no one. No. there are alot just tat i dun wanna go out with dem.
Tot of calling leonard - go for snails meetin yummi. fine dining. he has been complaining tat i veri long never meet him.
Tot of calling kane - but i better let him rest although he been asking out many times. so he called me few days back n book me at the end of the month. haha.
Tot of calling my gals - yah mm. they complained movie too late.
I dun realli feel like goin for cell. yah
mm.. I have quit singing. Mu tou did ask me continue. eh my voice nice meh. It sounds like shit man. haiz. maybe because my expectation too high ba or rather i feel i need to improve more. but thanks mu tou for the compliment. =) at least i noe if i ever got an album u will prob be the first to get it. wahha.
tried calling clone. he din answer the phone! haiz. mu tou oso not free. tml national day. yah i have dedicate the day to myself and my books n lappy. study and project belongs to me.
actualli i hope mu tou's free but yah. he is not. and its good tat mu tou has alot of family bonding.
mu tou. xin tong. yong gan. liao jie. ai ni. chong dong.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
its a letter F-day
Its been a while I last blogged. Recently many nice things happen. I din managed to blog it down.
Yah here i am again.
but well. the song " THERE HE GOES, THERE HE GOES AGAIN" + Zhang hui mei song
(bu yao zai wo de xiong kou sa yan). Moodless la.
So I can only walk with him this far? or wad? If I have a choice. Please bang me now. I am at the peak and there I fall again to the ends of the valley. Its like WTF! but seriously. Keep me walking in this dream pls.
Yah the flowers din meant a single shit. The cookies and stuff flew us by. yah so wads left? My life? Wrong. I dun even have anything left. Take it if u want man.
=( ................................................................................................ STOP IT!
Yah here i am again.
but well. the song " THERE HE GOES, THERE HE GOES AGAIN" + Zhang hui mei song
(bu yao zai wo de xiong kou sa yan). Moodless la.
So I can only walk with him this far? or wad? If I have a choice. Please bang me now. I am at the peak and there I fall again to the ends of the valley. Its like WTF! but seriously. Keep me walking in this dream pls.
Yah the flowers din meant a single shit. The cookies and stuff flew us by. yah so wads left? My life? Wrong. I dun even have anything left. Take it if u want man.
=( ................................................................................................ STOP IT!
Thursday, July 31, 2008
Be of good cheer!
hihi,
I hope mu tou is able to cope with stuff, hitting quotas and resutls.. Has not been blogging for a few days.
Miss Macdonalding with mu tou man. ok la maybe next time will have more chance. Cos he has to study.
Mu tou u can do it!
alrite. nuthing much to blog.
Been settling things on hand. I am considering to let go vocals. I think clone sure upset de. haiz. i think not onli him. I beloved B3 oso. I would say i will let go for now ba. Not realli my piority. Too much things to focus on. yup. I've been releasing alot of things recently. including him. Cos he forced me. =( haiz. maybe better ba. Cos i noe he cant handle. His work is stressing him alot, now comes studies, even more. And i noe i bring stress to pple who is with me. Well, perhaps i expect alot. haha.
Things are picking up for me. Need to save money n study hard. Wondering shld i go holiday. My bills!! sigh. dad just complained abt my hp bill this month 300 plus to handphone bills. cos i gt m1 line too. CRAP!!!
Tired. gtg study. n hmm.. where's mt?
I hope mu tou is able to cope with stuff, hitting quotas and resutls.. Has not been blogging for a few days.
Miss Macdonalding with mu tou man. ok la maybe next time will have more chance. Cos he has to study.
Mu tou u can do it!
alrite. nuthing much to blog.
Been settling things on hand. I am considering to let go vocals. I think clone sure upset de. haiz. i think not onli him. I beloved B3 oso. I would say i will let go for now ba. Not realli my piority. Too much things to focus on. yup. I've been releasing alot of things recently. including him. Cos he forced me. =( haiz. maybe better ba. Cos i noe he cant handle. His work is stressing him alot, now comes studies, even more. And i noe i bring stress to pple who is with me. Well, perhaps i expect alot. haha.
Things are picking up for me. Need to save money n study hard. Wondering shld i go holiday. My bills!! sigh. dad just complained abt my hp bill this month 300 plus to handphone bills. cos i gt m1 line too. CRAP!!!
Tired. gtg study. n hmm.. where's mt?
Saturday, July 26, 2008
waking up mode
hihi,
Slept alot. yest nite i slept at 9 plus and i keep waking up. I cried to sleep. I dunno wad happen dun ask me why. yest nite the whole episode was weird and scary. I dun even feel its myself. if you were to read my previous blog u will noe why. MU tou, if u think i am mad. just ignore me. but if u wanan show abit of concern? i would gladly accept it :)
I din go send chris off, i din go service. I slept all the way. yup. It's time for a waking n up smashing session for myself. MELISSA CHEN! WAKE UP WAKE UP!. its time to move before i miss the train. the train dun wait for you . ITs either you get over it and walk or bye u be stuck in tat pit for all ur life. I dun like where i am now but somehow i am enjoying it. Slept like damn long 15 hrs perhaps. so my mind is abit more awake. which means shit. cos alot of things haven do. argh..
Gotta plan for my studies the next few weeks till exams. woohoo.. if not realli no time. n PROJECTS is killing me haven start man. my projects mate are like sure cool about it .
I think i need to study everyday now. at least half to a chapter. I am realli lag now. I need to reduce my activities with pple. Lesser time for church things perhaps. and play and maybe mo tou ba. but maybe not. I will drag mu tou go out study. cos i noe he will head big when come to books. JIA YOU MU TOU. one month. i think our exams abt same time. whaha. sigh. Its gonna be tough for you mu tou to work n study wor. cos dun forget u need to revise. u look at me u noe i half life. cos i damn long din study.
Now, more activties coming this weekend. 2 friends celebrating bday on the 2nd aug. gosh. clash. one is celebrating 21st bday the other is my v.good friend. know her since p1. haha we gonna check in hotel n have a hotel party. i wonder wad is it gonna be like but u noe wad we gonna drink so means most may get drunk. shit. i better be sober. this week is festival of praise. i guess i am not going ba. the next day sure cant make it. n means i got no time to study!! wah!
yup time managament. tats wad mu tou always say. Mu tou actually i have alot of things to tell u. but i guess i will release things in its own timing. and pls communicate with me k.
I am looking forward to the trip with mu tou. erm. if tats too ex, i tot of another alternative which is more cost effective. CIO!
ok actually yest i noe mu tou dun realli want to see me. maybe i am too stick to him. mm. yah i can tell he is not veri happy cos he misses all his train n he is late for dinner. n maybe i am stopping him for his other opportunities with his family. anyway tat question tat i ask u to bring me ar, its just a joke la. dun take it to heart. i not fact finding anything. i just teasing u. whah. anyway yest mu tou let me realised alot of things abt myself. Hey, i actually do learn things frm mu tou. whaha. ok la gtg eat. mu tou dun fall in the toilet bowl. whaha.
ciao!
Slept alot. yest nite i slept at 9 plus and i keep waking up. I cried to sleep. I dunno wad happen dun ask me why. yest nite the whole episode was weird and scary. I dun even feel its myself. if you were to read my previous blog u will noe why. MU tou, if u think i am mad. just ignore me. but if u wanan show abit of concern? i would gladly accept it :)
I din go send chris off, i din go service. I slept all the way. yup. It's time for a waking n up smashing session for myself. MELISSA CHEN! WAKE UP WAKE UP!. its time to move before i miss the train. the train dun wait for you . ITs either you get over it and walk or bye u be stuck in tat pit for all ur life. I dun like where i am now but somehow i am enjoying it. Slept like damn long 15 hrs perhaps. so my mind is abit more awake. which means shit. cos alot of things haven do. argh..
Gotta plan for my studies the next few weeks till exams. woohoo.. if not realli no time. n PROJECTS is killing me haven start man. my projects mate are like sure cool about it .
I think i need to study everyday now. at least half to a chapter. I am realli lag now. I need to reduce my activities with pple. Lesser time for church things perhaps. and play and maybe mo tou ba. but maybe not. I will drag mu tou go out study. cos i noe he will head big when come to books. JIA YOU MU TOU. one month. i think our exams abt same time. whaha. sigh. Its gonna be tough for you mu tou to work n study wor. cos dun forget u need to revise. u look at me u noe i half life. cos i damn long din study.
Now, more activties coming this weekend. 2 friends celebrating bday on the 2nd aug. gosh. clash. one is celebrating 21st bday the other is my v.good friend. know her since p1. haha we gonna check in hotel n have a hotel party. i wonder wad is it gonna be like but u noe wad we gonna drink so means most may get drunk. shit. i better be sober. this week is festival of praise. i guess i am not going ba. the next day sure cant make it. n means i got no time to study!! wah!
yup time managament. tats wad mu tou always say. Mu tou actually i have alot of things to tell u. but i guess i will release things in its own timing. and pls communicate with me k.
I am looking forward to the trip with mu tou. erm. if tats too ex, i tot of another alternative which is more cost effective. CIO!
ok actually yest i noe mu tou dun realli want to see me. maybe i am too stick to him. mm. yah i can tell he is not veri happy cos he misses all his train n he is late for dinner. n maybe i am stopping him for his other opportunities with his family. anyway tat question tat i ask u to bring me ar, its just a joke la. dun take it to heart. i not fact finding anything. i just teasing u. whah. anyway yest mu tou let me realised alot of things abt myself. Hey, i actually do learn things frm mu tou. whaha. ok la gtg eat. mu tou dun fall in the toilet bowl. whaha.
ciao!
stop and stare, i think i'm moving but i go no where
now i am here blogging. i concluded brain dead. fading away into the wallpaper. lost with the wind. I lost myself, I lost all.
Conclusion, withering.
I am tired. Very. not just physically, mentally n emotionally. Perhaps I shall run away.
Today I had a veri weird thought and i guess i had enough. I gonna tell amos soemthing not veri pleasant. i just sms him. i guess i not gonna beat round the bush but tell him directly.
Everyone thinks things are going fine and good, but the truth is it aint not. I am tired of keep on keeping on. If the thing i can do now i would want to say.. I AM SICK OF EVERYTHING !
Some updates abt mu tou.
Recently, Maybe its too demanding of him to come see me.
Mu tou's concern abt me joining him. the truth is i not moving cos my mind is blank veri blank. If i already feel so chaos inside me den where can i even want to think further.
STOP AND STARE, I THINK I'M MOVING BUT I GO NO WHERE.
JUST WALK AWAY.
currently i am suffering from a splitting headache. and i have made a decision to walk away.
bye amos.
i guess i lost my mind. I am unsound. mad. insane. lost. just like emily the strange. tats why i am acting strangly. bye everyone. my life ends here.
Conclusion, withering.
I am tired. Very. not just physically, mentally n emotionally. Perhaps I shall run away.
Today I had a veri weird thought and i guess i had enough. I gonna tell amos soemthing not veri pleasant. i just sms him. i guess i not gonna beat round the bush but tell him directly.
Everyone thinks things are going fine and good, but the truth is it aint not. I am tired of keep on keeping on. If the thing i can do now i would want to say.. I AM SICK OF EVERYTHING !
Some updates abt mu tou.
Recently, Maybe its too demanding of him to come see me.
Mu tou's concern abt me joining him. the truth is i not moving cos my mind is blank veri blank. If i already feel so chaos inside me den where can i even want to think further.
STOP AND STARE, I THINK I'M MOVING BUT I GO NO WHERE.
JUST WALK AWAY.
currently i am suffering from a splitting headache. and i have made a decision to walk away.
bye amos.
i guess i lost my mind. I am unsound. mad. insane. lost. just like emily the strange. tats why i am acting strangly. bye everyone. my life ends here.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
The so WHat daes!
i have so many things to blog. but recently i am so tired to blog abt my thoughts too.
I guess i just do a quick update. I am veri tired. I dunno why.
Feel as if i am fading away. A body without substance. Where is my capacity and tenacity?
Do hardwork get paid off? I am overwhelm by my thoughts. mm.. recently, mu tou n me got better. but many areas still haven realli got better. am i distracted by too many things? being muilti -foci. I wanna let go everything. as in everything. Mu tou ask me join him. I did wanted to. But for me when i am not 100% sure, i rather not move, because i remember yah lan told me tat before. because, the other day i woke up in the morning, n something came to me. Can i not do things according to my own feelings. Cause feelings may not always be rite and it can be something dangerous to rely on.
I begin to think. So wad i can get alot of money from mu tou's company? So what i can have alot of pple under me? so wad I can be very good in design? so wad i can be veri good in marketing TDF? so wad i excel in my career? so what? so what i can sing well? so wad i can perform? so wad pple admire me in terms of my talents n abilities? so what? so what i can analyse and see pple? so what i can study hard and do well in my studies? so what?
Maybe i shld let go of my job?
Maybe i shld let go of my studies?
Maybe i shld let go of cg n service?
maybe i shld let go of myself.
I just want to go to no man's land with mu tou and have fun. even the no man's land is malaysia. I am happy.
Aww.. Zzzzz.. in my dreams.
I guess i just do a quick update. I am veri tired. I dunno why.
Feel as if i am fading away. A body without substance. Where is my capacity and tenacity?
Do hardwork get paid off? I am overwhelm by my thoughts. mm.. recently, mu tou n me got better. but many areas still haven realli got better. am i distracted by too many things? being muilti -foci. I wanna let go everything. as in everything. Mu tou ask me join him. I did wanted to. But for me when i am not 100% sure, i rather not move, because i remember yah lan told me tat before. because, the other day i woke up in the morning, n something came to me. Can i not do things according to my own feelings. Cause feelings may not always be rite and it can be something dangerous to rely on.
I begin to think. So wad i can get alot of money from mu tou's company? So what i can have alot of pple under me? so wad I can be very good in design? so wad i can be veri good in marketing TDF? so wad i excel in my career? so what? so what i can sing well? so wad i can perform? so wad pple admire me in terms of my talents n abilities? so what? so what i can analyse and see pple? so what i can study hard and do well in my studies? so what?
Maybe i shld let go of my job?
Maybe i shld let go of my studies?
Maybe i shld let go of cg n service?
maybe i shld let go of myself.
I just want to go to no man's land with mu tou and have fun. even the no man's land is malaysia. I am happy.
Aww.. Zzzzz.. in my dreams.
Tuesday, July 22, 2008
虽然我愿意
This song is played and sung by my beloved nos.3 bf. CS. He is so talented and mesmerising when he played this. I recorded it down when i was at his place yest and i have been listening to this song over n over again. SO nice!!. yah. title of the song - su ran wo yuan yi - by wu jia hui.
I copied a version of chinese / hanyu pinyin and english translation. for M.T. - so literally translate lor. diao. I will update the meng xiang jia soon. - need to get the lyrics.
虽然我愿意
请让我靠近你轻轻对你说
别让我每个夜为你受折磨
是多么不容易才默默放手
为了我就当作这次为了我
别让我因为你被回忆折磨
而空气凝结了我们的脸孔
我别无选择
就算我们之间有什么问题
依然想念着你 虽然被放弃
虽然我愿意
就算我们之间有什么难题
黑夜我还想着你
心碎人孤寂
虽然我愿意(心还想着你)
再让我靠近你轻轻对你说
当我说我要你从此好好过
是真的否则我怎么肯放手
为了我就当作这次为了我
赐给我你现在幸福的笑容
别让恨冻结了我们的脸孔
请你做选择
请让我靠近你轻轻对你说
Qing rang wo kao jin ni jing jing dui ni shuo
Please let me go to you and softly talk to you.
别让我每个夜为你受折磨
Bie rang wo mei ge ye wei ni shou zhe mo
Don’t let me be tormented every night because of you.
是多么不容易才默默放手
Shi duo me bu rong yi cai mo mo fang shou
It’s so hard to silently let go!
为了我就当作这次为了我
Wei le wo jiu dang zuo zhe ci wei le wo
Just this time, do this for me.
别让我因为你被回忆折磨
Bie rang wo yin wei ni bei hui yi
Don’t let me be tormented by the memories because of you.
而空气凝结了我们的脸孔
Er kong qi ning jie le wo men de lian kong
The atmosphere freezes our faces.
*我别无选择
Wo bie wu xuan ze
I have no other choice,
就算我们之间有什么问题
Jiu suan wo men zhi jian you shen me wen ti
Since we have so many problems between us.
依然想念着你
Yi ran xiang nian zhe ni
I’m still longing for you,
虽然被放弃
Sui ran bei fang qi
Even though we’ve given up.
虽然我愿意
Sui ran wo yuan yi
Despite it all, I’m still willing.
就算我们之间有什么难题
Jiu suan wo men zhi jian you shen me nan ti
Even though there are such problems between us,
黑夜我还想着你
Hei ye wo hai xiang zhe niIn the dark nights,
I’m still thinking of you.
心碎人孤寂
Xin sui ren gu ji
Heart-broken people are lonely.
虽然我愿意(心还想着你)
Sui ran wo yuan yi (Xin hai xiang zhe ni)
Despite it all, I’m willing. (My heart is still thinking of you.)
再让我靠近你轻轻对你说
Zai rang wo kao jin ni jing jing dui ni shuo
Again, let me come to you and talk softly to you.
当我说我要你从此好好过
Dang wo shuo wo yao ni cong ci hao hao guo
Then, I will say I will want you more and more as time goes by.
是真的否则我怎么肯放手
Shi zhen de fou ze wo zen me ken fang shou
Whether it comes to that or not, I am willing to let go.
为了我就当作这次为了我
Wei le wo jiu dang zuo zhe ci wei le wo
Just this time, do this for me.
赐给我你现在幸福的笑容
Ci gei wo ni xian zai xing fu de xiao rong
Give me your happy smile.
别让恨冻结了我们的脸孔
Bie rang hen dong jie le wo men de lian kong
Don’t let hatred freeze our faces.
请你做选择
Qing ni zuo xuan ze
Please make your decision.
I copied a version of chinese / hanyu pinyin and english translation. for M.T. - so literally translate lor. diao. I will update the meng xiang jia soon. - need to get the lyrics.
虽然我愿意
请让我靠近你轻轻对你说
别让我每个夜为你受折磨
是多么不容易才默默放手
为了我就当作这次为了我
别让我因为你被回忆折磨
而空气凝结了我们的脸孔
我别无选择
就算我们之间有什么问题
依然想念着你 虽然被放弃
虽然我愿意
就算我们之间有什么难题
黑夜我还想着你
心碎人孤寂
虽然我愿意(心还想着你)
再让我靠近你轻轻对你说
当我说我要你从此好好过
是真的否则我怎么肯放手
为了我就当作这次为了我
赐给我你现在幸福的笑容
别让恨冻结了我们的脸孔
请你做选择
请让我靠近你轻轻对你说
Qing rang wo kao jin ni jing jing dui ni shuo
Please let me go to you and softly talk to you.
别让我每个夜为你受折磨
Bie rang wo mei ge ye wei ni shou zhe mo
Don’t let me be tormented every night because of you.
是多么不容易才默默放手
Shi duo me bu rong yi cai mo mo fang shou
It’s so hard to silently let go!
为了我就当作这次为了我
Wei le wo jiu dang zuo zhe ci wei le wo
Just this time, do this for me.
别让我因为你被回忆折磨
Bie rang wo yin wei ni bei hui yi
Don’t let me be tormented by the memories because of you.
而空气凝结了我们的脸孔
Er kong qi ning jie le wo men de lian kong
The atmosphere freezes our faces.
*我别无选择
Wo bie wu xuan ze
I have no other choice,
就算我们之间有什么问题
Jiu suan wo men zhi jian you shen me wen ti
Since we have so many problems between us.
依然想念着你
Yi ran xiang nian zhe ni
I’m still longing for you,
虽然被放弃
Sui ran bei fang qi
Even though we’ve given up.
虽然我愿意
Sui ran wo yuan yi
Despite it all, I’m still willing.
就算我们之间有什么难题
Jiu suan wo men zhi jian you shen me nan ti
Even though there are such problems between us,
黑夜我还想着你
Hei ye wo hai xiang zhe niIn the dark nights,
I’m still thinking of you.
心碎人孤寂
Xin sui ren gu ji
Heart-broken people are lonely.
虽然我愿意(心还想着你)
Sui ran wo yuan yi (Xin hai xiang zhe ni)
Despite it all, I’m willing. (My heart is still thinking of you.)
再让我靠近你轻轻对你说
Zai rang wo kao jin ni jing jing dui ni shuo
Again, let me come to you and talk softly to you.
当我说我要你从此好好过
Dang wo shuo wo yao ni cong ci hao hao guo
Then, I will say I will want you more and more as time goes by.
是真的否则我怎么肯放手
Shi zhen de fou ze wo zen me ken fang shou
Whether it comes to that or not, I am willing to let go.
为了我就当作这次为了我
Wei le wo jiu dang zuo zhe ci wei le wo
Just this time, do this for me.
赐给我你现在幸福的笑容
Ci gei wo ni xian zai xing fu de xiao rong
Give me your happy smile.
别让恨冻结了我们的脸孔
Bie rang hen dong jie le wo men de lian kong
Don’t let hatred freeze our faces.
请你做选择
Qing ni zuo xuan ze
Please make your decision.
Randomness
randomly after readin wad i blog for the last entry i realised mu tou will be thinking i shld join him. for the various reasons that i noe.. and he will still end up saying, its my choice. haha.
rite! mu tou!
rite! mu tou!
Rehersal
Hi,
I am about to leave office.
Today i am going to tpy but apparently, mu tou not going. diao. sigh
nvm la i am supposed to study anyway. Must mug liao. argh.. and yah later going to CS hse for
rehersal with clone and the rest of the other performers.
I am so tired, but no choice but to go. I dun even noe can sing not. cos my throat is highly irritated and i keep coughing. crap i think i better go chinese medical hall and get some stuff for my throat.
erm.. ok m.t. is at his neighbour's hse now and i am so tired cos slept at 4am. i think i never recover cos i dun get to sleep. that time i sick i slept 14hrs
den after den i been sleeping 2-3 hrs again. fri/sat/sun/mon argh. shack! alrite. my head is goner. Been thinking the whole day cos busy with work.
Now. gonna study and re-evaluate my goals. later tonite still need finish the Image Esthetics Artwork for arabad. sigh. late nite again.
Sam gonna give me product training on Fri. ok. I was thinking of takin leave to sleep lor.
sigh. sat oso no rest. cos got vocal class and performance. sigh. sunday STUDY!
if onli mu tou can study with me. shrugs!
gtg.
I am about to leave office.
Today i am going to tpy but apparently, mu tou not going. diao. sigh
nvm la i am supposed to study anyway. Must mug liao. argh.. and yah later going to CS hse for
rehersal with clone and the rest of the other performers.
I am so tired, but no choice but to go. I dun even noe can sing not. cos my throat is highly irritated and i keep coughing. crap i think i better go chinese medical hall and get some stuff for my throat.
erm.. ok m.t. is at his neighbour's hse now and i am so tired cos slept at 4am. i think i never recover cos i dun get to sleep. that time i sick i slept 14hrs
den after den i been sleeping 2-3 hrs again. fri/sat/sun/mon argh. shack! alrite. my head is goner. Been thinking the whole day cos busy with work.
Now. gonna study and re-evaluate my goals. later tonite still need finish the Image Esthetics Artwork for arabad. sigh. late nite again.
Sam gonna give me product training on Fri. ok. I was thinking of takin leave to sleep lor.
sigh. sat oso no rest. cos got vocal class and performance. sigh. sunday STUDY!
if onli mu tou can study with me. shrugs!
gtg.
Friday, July 18, 2008
nerve wrecking and snoozing
here i am again.
Recently, I have been blogging. Evidently, you can see it. haha. i dunno. somehow there is no one i can turn to except talking to myself. Maybe this is another way of talking to "mu tou" cos many a times i refrain from sms-ing or calling him cos i din want to disturb him la. I guess he needs the space. Wx just sms me asking me abt mlm. haha. yah n he told him his camp mate approached him so i wonder is it the same as mu tou's. he say he will informed me. weird. my this friend of my got crazy ideas for biz for design. he show me his proposal i gone through n critic alot. Tats wad he ask me to do. haha yah but hor i seem to forget to email him back. yah. doing biz not say so simple. when i read his plan to a certain extend i wanna faint. ahha. but i find no clear direction.
ok anyway, feel sian now. totally no motivation. listening to mu tou's song.. to perk me up.
Today, i wrote some song lyrics, i realised soemthing. I like to describe my lyrics . I guess i suck at lyrics writing. my command of english is like shit la. and yah the words dun seem to tally. but i realised the song soemtimes i like to write its good for jamming. whaha. anyway, i still love the song i composed in the past. I wonder why didnt i learn music composing.. amos got one of my song. which i refused to pass it to him in the past.
yah I feel like screaming.. this.. over to meyer rd.. MU TOU.. IMU.
its nerve wrecking, its crashing inside me. yawns. slept like 2 hrs onli but i am as energetic as ever. Just now cg was good, it answers my qtn.
I will probably not blogged now. cos it gonna talk long, let me read it over and pocess my thoughts. Yah. I am tired. But i am right here waiting for M.T. it seems like he is at the other side of the planet. and tml got vocal class. i alr losing my voice. keep coughing must get well soon!
U noe rite. Soemtimes, I dun mind.. my body here, but my spirit goes to mu tou hse. haha ok maybe he will freak out.
Don't speak, i know wad you saying so pls stop explain. dun speak! - no doubt -
You noe wad. exactly one week ago. I was at mu tou place. with the oriental look. and yah I wanna hug mu tou!
ok la. shant say much liao. its all abt mu tou! but seriously i miss him calling me dat!. sigh!
u want to noe my serious thought even though mu tou said it clear at his place tat day. But another part of me is there are things that are more den meets the eye. serious. i dunno why. just a woman's gut feel.
haiz ciao. snooze!
Recently, I have been blogging. Evidently, you can see it. haha. i dunno. somehow there is no one i can turn to except talking to myself. Maybe this is another way of talking to "mu tou" cos many a times i refrain from sms-ing or calling him cos i din want to disturb him la. I guess he needs the space. Wx just sms me asking me abt mlm. haha. yah n he told him his camp mate approached him so i wonder is it the same as mu tou's. he say he will informed me. weird. my this friend of my got crazy ideas for biz for design. he show me his proposal i gone through n critic alot. Tats wad he ask me to do. haha yah but hor i seem to forget to email him back. yah. doing biz not say so simple. when i read his plan to a certain extend i wanna faint. ahha. but i find no clear direction.
ok anyway, feel sian now. totally no motivation. listening to mu tou's song.. to perk me up.
Today, i wrote some song lyrics, i realised soemthing. I like to describe my lyrics . I guess i suck at lyrics writing. my command of english is like shit la. and yah the words dun seem to tally. but i realised the song soemtimes i like to write its good for jamming. whaha. anyway, i still love the song i composed in the past. I wonder why didnt i learn music composing.. amos got one of my song. which i refused to pass it to him in the past.
yah I feel like screaming.. this.. over to meyer rd.. MU TOU.. IMU.
its nerve wrecking, its crashing inside me. yawns. slept like 2 hrs onli but i am as energetic as ever. Just now cg was good, it answers my qtn.
I will probably not blogged now. cos it gonna talk long, let me read it over and pocess my thoughts. Yah. I am tired. But i am right here waiting for M.T. it seems like he is at the other side of the planet. and tml got vocal class. i alr losing my voice. keep coughing must get well soon!
U noe rite. Soemtimes, I dun mind.. my body here, but my spirit goes to mu tou hse. haha ok maybe he will freak out.
Don't speak, i know wad you saying so pls stop explain. dun speak! - no doubt -
You noe wad. exactly one week ago. I was at mu tou place. with the oriental look. and yah I wanna hug mu tou!
ok la. shant say much liao. its all abt mu tou! but seriously i miss him calling me dat!. sigh!
u want to noe my serious thought even though mu tou said it clear at his place tat day. But another part of me is there are things that are more den meets the eye. serious. i dunno why. just a woman's gut feel.
haiz ciao. snooze!
Emotionlism Vs Emotionless
The emotionalism (mu tou sa) and emotionless (mu tou young) kept staring at my face.
Where do broken hearts go? thats the song I am listening now.
My heart is aching again. Not because I am listening to this song.
It was aching long ago.
Yes where do broken hearts go?
If it is not dealt with properly it will causes us to be building walls to protect
ourselves. And a person who always rely on emotions will eventually find it tough to express
A emotionless person does not mean he or she dun feel anything. but simple put it across as
He or she is unable to express one emotion, , with very little emotion or no emotion at all.
Yah, they are hurt, callous and unable to feel anything.
Everyone need to spend time learning, dealing and managing their own emotions.
Yes.
I want to see him yet i need to manage myself. Who noes when he sees this he might not even want to meet me already. To tell him I dun feel anything, its a lie la. Impossible not to feel anything but just abt overcoming it. So I guess I will face him. IF i realli cant den i will walk away. Last fews days i was holding back alot. YES. I miss him so much. but there is nothing i can do. Seriously now, I am already glad that he is not avoidin me rite. Haiz. Although I will feel upset things cannot be like last time. Sometimes i think its such a big price for my mistake. :(
What can i do? nothing much abt it. I hope mu tou will like the stuff i passing him on sunday.
:)
alrite gotta do some house keeping for my files. and i miss his voice :( I am listening it again in my memory. His whines :)
Where do broken hearts go? thats the song I am listening now.
My heart is aching again. Not because I am listening to this song.
It was aching long ago.
Yes where do broken hearts go?
If it is not dealt with properly it will causes us to be building walls to protect
ourselves. And a person who always rely on emotions will eventually find it tough to express
A emotionless person does not mean he or she dun feel anything. but simple put it across as
He or she is unable to express one emotion, , with very little emotion or no emotion at all.
Yah, they are hurt, callous and unable to feel anything.
Everyone need to spend time learning, dealing and managing their own emotions.
Yes.
I want to see him yet i need to manage myself. Who noes when he sees this he might not even want to meet me already. To tell him I dun feel anything, its a lie la. Impossible not to feel anything but just abt overcoming it. So I guess I will face him. IF i realli cant den i will walk away. Last fews days i was holding back alot. YES. I miss him so much. but there is nothing i can do. Seriously now, I am already glad that he is not avoidin me rite. Haiz. Although I will feel upset things cannot be like last time. Sometimes i think its such a big price for my mistake. :(
What can i do? nothing much abt it. I hope mu tou will like the stuff i passing him on sunday.
:)
alrite gotta do some house keeping for my files. and i miss his voice :( I am listening it again in my memory. His whines :)
Thursday, July 17, 2008
being an emotionlist
i am bloggin again when i am supposed to finish my stuff. but yah in the mood for slacking. later ba. but yah i noe its getting late. cos i dun plan to sleep liao. in order to finish my stuff. many thoughts flooded my head during class today.
Today, i begin to realised alot of things myself. I am an emotionlist. And I reckon that as soemthing bad sometimes. Over dependant on that. something tat mu tou made me realised.
Was it a emotional led or spirit led? that leads to the part where mu tou said, you no need to shout and scream to display anger. So obviously i was was plain showing my displease in front of his face without me realising. OK i tot i was tactful and no i wasnt at all i was plain showing pple my emotions ok tat wasnt veri mature of me n that has to change. CODE RED: CHANGE!!
and mu tou said i was complaining alot. Perhaps i think i am. WTH. haiz..
I need wisdom over my emotions. Its my weakest link. So i need to overcome. :)
Alrite. I am struck down but not destroyed! Here I am send me!
jia lat my back aching.. old liao.
Today, i begin to realised alot of things myself. I am an emotionlist. And I reckon that as soemthing bad sometimes. Over dependant on that. something tat mu tou made me realised.
Was it a emotional led or spirit led? that leads to the part where mu tou said, you no need to shout and scream to display anger. So obviously i was was plain showing my displease in front of his face without me realising. OK i tot i was tactful and no i wasnt at all i was plain showing pple my emotions ok tat wasnt veri mature of me n that has to change. CODE RED: CHANGE!!
and mu tou said i was complaining alot. Perhaps i think i am. WTH. haiz..
I need wisdom over my emotions. Its my weakest link. So i need to overcome. :)
Alrite. I am struck down but not destroyed! Here I am send me!
jia lat my back aching.. old liao.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
复刻回忆
复刻回忆
你还好吗 好久不见 又来这里 这个老店
后来的你 喜欢了谁 我们 聊聊天
现在的你 一样美丽 至於爱情 是个回忆
她不爱我 他离开你 爱会来 就会去
在不同的城市努力 偶尔也会想想你
这样的我 那样的你 要很久才相聚
我们都没说那遥远的曾经
我们也没提故事的原因
青春的复刻回忆像一片云
没法子抓在手里
我们的眼泪在复习著过去
我们的微笑是彼此的氧气
复刻的回忆是封挂号信
多远都可以找到你
窗外的树 爱哭的风 烦恼的我 聪明的你
爱是什麼 什麼人懂 所以 别难过
心还痛吗 请忘了吧 所谓幸福 是个童话
后来的我 一切随意 所以 没关系
午后的闷热的窗外的一场大雨
让我们看见了以前的自己
把时光倒转回那一季 那年的梦 他乡的你
for you... mu tou!
你还好吗 好久不见 又来这里 这个老店
后来的你 喜欢了谁 我们 聊聊天
现在的你 一样美丽 至於爱情 是个回忆
她不爱我 他离开你 爱会来 就会去
在不同的城市努力 偶尔也会想想你
这样的我 那样的你 要很久才相聚
我们都没说那遥远的曾经
我们也没提故事的原因
青春的复刻回忆像一片云
没法子抓在手里
我们的眼泪在复习著过去
我们的微笑是彼此的氧气
复刻的回忆是封挂号信
多远都可以找到你
窗外的树 爱哭的风 烦恼的我 聪明的你
爱是什麼 什麼人懂 所以 别难过
心还痛吗 请忘了吧 所谓幸福 是个童话
后来的我 一切随意 所以 没关系
午后的闷热的窗外的一场大雨
让我们看见了以前的自己
把时光倒转回那一季 那年的梦 他乡的你
for you... mu tou!
lunch blog
Its lunch time. and here i am blogging.
Chris is blowing down my neck for her derma rf consumer brochure. and arabad is oso chasing me for the CF artwork to be done. and I have to do yirun baptism card and liyun bday card.
yeah so much things to do huh? i am goin to drop some stuff off my shoulders.
CMI liao. clone scolded me again. he say he wun sympathize with me lor. ahha.
yeah.
I need to review my goals for this year.
tbc...
Chris is blowing down my neck for her derma rf consumer brochure. and arabad is oso chasing me for the CF artwork to be done. and I have to do yirun baptism card and liyun bday card.
yeah so much things to do huh? i am goin to drop some stuff off my shoulders.
CMI liao. clone scolded me again. he say he wun sympathize with me lor. ahha.
yeah.
I need to review my goals for this year.
tbc...
A big mu tou!!
Its been ages I last blogged.
I guess it is the best way of penning my thoughts and feelings down.
I have concluded my brains (mental), my heart (emotional) and my body (physical) they
are malfunctioning now. I'm gone.
Recently, something happened. And it causes 2 hearts to be broken.
Mu tou young and mu tou sa. and I miss my mu tou.
Ask me why I called him mu tou. seriously, i dunno but maybe because he is veri stubborn.
But why am i called mu tou. tat i not sure but some how I seem to be the biggest MU tou here.
I screwed the relationship between us. Soemthing that I wanted so badly, and now its gone. Liken a miscarriage. but well. No more.
I am lost. I did not noe wad to do. I never even turn on my radio to class 95 because mu tou told me that brings sad memories.
For the longest time i am trying to understand mu tou but soemtimes i feel the more i try to understand him, the more i dun understand him. Am i thinking too much of his complexity or is he just a close book.
To me, he is smart. But i know maybe he din think too well of himself. He likes to be in a positive environment now (MLM) perhaps previously, he was positioned in a negative environment. To a certain extend, he was not doing academically well, and yah pple compare, pple were mean.
The things i said, perhaps wake mu tou up, perhaps scared him off, perhaps I have hurt him.
I remember he said this abt me. My strength is oso my weakness.. Maybe, he is " stressed" with me. And i guess my truthfulness have hurt him. He has tried his best but wad did i do? not being veri appreciative.. so wad an idiot right? me?
Today, i was so upset. The things mu tou said n done keeps ringing in my head. I am so depressed. I cant eat. what goes in wants to come out. Totally dun feel like eating.
I feel so morbit n zombie. What i do, and do my head onli rings this " mu tou young"
When i sleep, doing work, bathing, in fact every moment of my life is him. WHY??
He is so important to me. :( but its not i dun want to try but he dun wanna let me try. I noe tat if
i were to do anything tat would even causes harm to the friendship. Its so miserable.
Seriously, I dun want to be career -minded kind of person. I am so tired. WHo noes that i want to be weak? Thats why i dun like mu tou ask me to be leader. cos i look up to him as one.
I miss his voice, i miss his laughter, i even miss him smoking.. sigh.. I miss him being cute. I miss his hug, i miss him even he argues with me, i miss him resting his arm on my shoulder. I JUST MISS HIM. i over look the part tat i was hurting his ego to a certain extend. I overlook the part when i hurt him with my words which i tot i was tactful but it wasnt. so now i noe why even mu tou says fault lies with both but no pt crying over spilled milk. He gave me the chance but I lost it.
I screwed it up myself, without me realising it.
Now i gt to let him go, cos i said, I want the best for him. and i want him to succeed. I want him to be confident of himself, I want him to rise up to be a leader. It so painful. but i dun have a choice.
Whenever I see the neo print my hurt breaks. argh.. i think i am sprialling down to depression. I guess i wun want to be such a strong carreer-minded person. at least not for now. super tiring. Mu tou says he wants to walk far away from me so i could recover. perhaps thats one of the reason, i guess i hurt him alot too. tats why he dun want to be hurt alr.
I miss mu tou voice and telling me he is cute. I miss tat. and there is soemthing i wanted to give him. IF even i got a chance, I will. If not, it will be always in my heart.
giraffe, kungfu panda, letter, club, 50 cent lucky charm, notebook (the most precious) together with the neo prints, sitting down waiting for train, talking over the phone, studying together. miss clarity cafe feeding him with lotsa food, waiting at the bus stop for bus 12. specially for you amos cookies, starfish and dolphin hugs and kisses, and many more.
so much more to say but i guess i will just end it here.
If fate allows, i still want my mu tou. - hopefully mu tou will be soft this time.
ciao
I guess it is the best way of penning my thoughts and feelings down.
I have concluded my brains (mental), my heart (emotional) and my body (physical) they
are malfunctioning now. I'm gone.
Recently, something happened. And it causes 2 hearts to be broken.
Mu tou young and mu tou sa. and I miss my mu tou.
Ask me why I called him mu tou. seriously, i dunno but maybe because he is veri stubborn.
But why am i called mu tou. tat i not sure but some how I seem to be the biggest MU tou here.
I screwed the relationship between us. Soemthing that I wanted so badly, and now its gone. Liken a miscarriage. but well. No more.
I am lost. I did not noe wad to do. I never even turn on my radio to class 95 because mu tou told me that brings sad memories.
For the longest time i am trying to understand mu tou but soemtimes i feel the more i try to understand him, the more i dun understand him. Am i thinking too much of his complexity or is he just a close book.
To me, he is smart. But i know maybe he din think too well of himself. He likes to be in a positive environment now (MLM) perhaps previously, he was positioned in a negative environment. To a certain extend, he was not doing academically well, and yah pple compare, pple were mean.
The things i said, perhaps wake mu tou up, perhaps scared him off, perhaps I have hurt him.
I remember he said this abt me. My strength is oso my weakness.. Maybe, he is " stressed" with me. And i guess my truthfulness have hurt him. He has tried his best but wad did i do? not being veri appreciative.. so wad an idiot right? me?
Today, i was so upset. The things mu tou said n done keeps ringing in my head. I am so depressed. I cant eat. what goes in wants to come out. Totally dun feel like eating.
I feel so morbit n zombie. What i do, and do my head onli rings this " mu tou young"
When i sleep, doing work, bathing, in fact every moment of my life is him. WHY??
He is so important to me. :( but its not i dun want to try but he dun wanna let me try. I noe tat if
i were to do anything tat would even causes harm to the friendship. Its so miserable.
Seriously, I dun want to be career -minded kind of person. I am so tired. WHo noes that i want to be weak? Thats why i dun like mu tou ask me to be leader. cos i look up to him as one.
I miss his voice, i miss his laughter, i even miss him smoking.. sigh.. I miss him being cute. I miss his hug, i miss him even he argues with me, i miss him resting his arm on my shoulder. I JUST MISS HIM. i over look the part tat i was hurting his ego to a certain extend. I overlook the part when i hurt him with my words which i tot i was tactful but it wasnt. so now i noe why even mu tou says fault lies with both but no pt crying over spilled milk. He gave me the chance but I lost it.
I screwed it up myself, without me realising it.
Now i gt to let him go, cos i said, I want the best for him. and i want him to succeed. I want him to be confident of himself, I want him to rise up to be a leader. It so painful. but i dun have a choice.
Whenever I see the neo print my hurt breaks. argh.. i think i am sprialling down to depression. I guess i wun want to be such a strong carreer-minded person. at least not for now. super tiring. Mu tou says he wants to walk far away from me so i could recover. perhaps thats one of the reason, i guess i hurt him alot too. tats why he dun want to be hurt alr.
I miss mu tou voice and telling me he is cute. I miss tat. and there is soemthing i wanted to give him. IF even i got a chance, I will. If not, it will be always in my heart.
giraffe, kungfu panda, letter, club, 50 cent lucky charm, notebook (the most precious) together with the neo prints, sitting down waiting for train, talking over the phone, studying together. miss clarity cafe feeding him with lotsa food, waiting at the bus stop for bus 12. specially for you amos cookies, starfish and dolphin hugs and kisses, and many more.
so much more to say but i guess i will just end it here.
If fate allows, i still want my mu tou. - hopefully mu tou will be soft this time.
ciao
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Mornin sickness
It's been a long time since I blogged. No time n lazy sometimes.
Erm. I am working now alot of things to do but someone alot of things is going through my head and heart, need to jot it down.
Mmm.. prolly abit update on myself.
Been busy with 169 Project, I am happy things are picking up and I am moving on although things are
abit tough in the beginning.
Had my apprasial tat day. Talk to Chris for darn long.appr 3 hrs. Everyone ask me how was it. somehow i dunno wad to say. I was pretty excited abt wad Chris says. But some pple dash my hopes and actually currently i dunno what to expect.
What I was happy about opportunities. Chris gave me the opportunity to learn, relearn and learn more.
Perhaps thats the reason sometimes I cant click with certain pple . Maturity and perspective issues. I guess. Not that I am very good but just we have different mindset due to backgrd and character I guess.
Ask me why I dun realli want to get into the Loud banging conversation they have in the office. Because sometimes I dun like to be in that atmosphere. One thing I really hate to come across is pple forming cliques.
Perhaps thats the reason why I prefer or pple see me as a "loner". Its not abt I dun wanna click I can and I do want. But i felt some topics or conversation I just dun want to be in it. Perhaps it wasnt my phrase. I would say the phrase and topic of my life is different.
Chris told me she will not allow politics in the office. I believe its unavoidable. But I think durin the different meetings with Chris, I learn alot abt her life. sometimes i do sympathize with her but I can say she is gd in asking qtns. The Art of Asking Questions.
I dunno. I felt tension in the air after the talk with Chris. PPle gave me the feeling that I have intruded into their lives, their privacy. AM I thinkin too much or being too sensitive. Its the actions that make me feel that way.
God, take away this persecution. Perhaps pple thinking that I am taking over marketin. or wad? No la. I am still doin design. or issit because after I open my mouth many things have to change. Den i mention about the cohesiveness in TDF. They told me they were very cohesive. Well, they din seem veri agreeable about me being inside. Well. maybe i guess its the beginning. WHATEVER I WOULD SAY. Maybe like wad Chris say, I need to build the relationship ba. Cos maybe they never realli communicate with me.
Yest E told me something. I duno what she is hinting. I hope she can be more direct. She contradicts herself.
I guess she prob dunno what she wants. I noe she is irritated. and she told me i duno chris, and she ask me to open my eyes and see. I dunno wad she driving at and she says that chris told her that she welcome her back anytime after her SIA. I dunno she make me think or maybe she trying to tell me i shld not trust Chris too much cos she keeps changing her mind or soemtiems she test the person. I dunno. perhaps to a certain extend.
Just sian now la. Whatever, I just do what i am supposed to do. Time will tell and time will tell I will stay or not.
Erm. I am working now alot of things to do but someone alot of things is going through my head and heart, need to jot it down.
Mmm.. prolly abit update on myself.
Been busy with 169 Project, I am happy things are picking up and I am moving on although things are
abit tough in the beginning.
Had my apprasial tat day. Talk to Chris for darn long.appr 3 hrs. Everyone ask me how was it. somehow i dunno wad to say. I was pretty excited abt wad Chris says. But some pple dash my hopes and actually currently i dunno what to expect.
What I was happy about opportunities. Chris gave me the opportunity to learn, relearn and learn more.
Perhaps thats the reason sometimes I cant click with certain pple . Maturity and perspective issues. I guess. Not that I am very good but just we have different mindset due to backgrd and character I guess.
Ask me why I dun realli want to get into the Loud banging conversation they have in the office. Because sometimes I dun like to be in that atmosphere. One thing I really hate to come across is pple forming cliques.
Perhaps thats the reason why I prefer or pple see me as a "loner". Its not abt I dun wanna click I can and I do want. But i felt some topics or conversation I just dun want to be in it. Perhaps it wasnt my phrase. I would say the phrase and topic of my life is different.
Chris told me she will not allow politics in the office. I believe its unavoidable. But I think durin the different meetings with Chris, I learn alot abt her life. sometimes i do sympathize with her but I can say she is gd in asking qtns. The Art of Asking Questions.
I dunno. I felt tension in the air after the talk with Chris. PPle gave me the feeling that I have intruded into their lives, their privacy. AM I thinkin too much or being too sensitive. Its the actions that make me feel that way.
God, take away this persecution. Perhaps pple thinking that I am taking over marketin. or wad? No la. I am still doin design. or issit because after I open my mouth many things have to change. Den i mention about the cohesiveness in TDF. They told me they were very cohesive. Well, they din seem veri agreeable about me being inside. Well. maybe i guess its the beginning. WHATEVER I WOULD SAY. Maybe like wad Chris say, I need to build the relationship ba. Cos maybe they never realli communicate with me.
Yest E told me something. I duno what she is hinting. I hope she can be more direct. She contradicts herself.
I guess she prob dunno what she wants. I noe she is irritated. and she told me i duno chris, and she ask me to open my eyes and see. I dunno wad she driving at and she says that chris told her that she welcome her back anytime after her SIA. I dunno she make me think or maybe she trying to tell me i shld not trust Chris too much cos she keeps changing her mind or soemtiems she test the person. I dunno. perhaps to a certain extend.
Just sian now la. Whatever, I just do what i am supposed to do. Time will tell and time will tell I will stay or not.
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
Skin-innovate
Oh there,
I am bored.
alrite. its not tat i have nothin to do but just that I got to think of new things. haha.
Currently I am coming up with new product name for the acne regime for OTC.
I came up with this name skinnovate which comes from (skin-innovate) haha. cool rite.
And I am doing the new product design.
alrite. was talkin to Wenxiang yest. It was a coincidence to meet him at one of the cashflow workshops.
Talk alot to him. For the first time. Strange. I've been clickin with pple i can used to click b4. haha. Talkin to him last time was not veri simple.
Anyway mentioned alot. Like biz stuff and he actually share with me some things
I guess I will put the conversation in the next entry.
OK clone help me cut song. Thanks Clone. Anyway. recently I realised clone like not the clone i knew. haha. Maybe I dun realli noe him in the first place
Clone is lost. This is not the first time he told me. It's normal I guess. I get lost many times.
I will continue this blog when I am home. Gtg. Knock OFF.
I am bored.
alrite. its not tat i have nothin to do but just that I got to think of new things. haha.
Currently I am coming up with new product name for the acne regime for OTC.
I came up with this name skinnovate which comes from (skin-innovate) haha. cool rite.
And I am doing the new product design.
alrite. was talkin to Wenxiang yest. It was a coincidence to meet him at one of the cashflow workshops.
Talk alot to him. For the first time. Strange. I've been clickin with pple i can used to click b4. haha. Talkin to him last time was not veri simple.
Anyway mentioned alot. Like biz stuff and he actually share with me some things
I guess I will put the conversation in the next entry.
OK clone help me cut song. Thanks Clone. Anyway. recently I realised clone like not the clone i knew. haha. Maybe I dun realli noe him in the first place
Clone is lost. This is not the first time he told me. It's normal I guess. I get lost many times.
I will continue this blog when I am home. Gtg. Knock OFF.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
The past week
Hi there,
Recently, I have been going to a couple of talks learning more about how to start a biz. And yah again. fated to be exposed to Network Marketing.
I realised the Network Marketing I always knew was different this time. It wasnt about how good is the product or the marketing plan, but I was being exposed to the education side.
I got a chance to play cashflow game. I could say i suck at first time and I made a big mess.
I realised I was so panicky when stress and pressure sets in. Crap. The game taught me about the kind of life a person could experience in the area of our finanical world.
The game depicts real human life in a game. However, i would say its wasnt 100 percent accurate as it is onli a game. However, when I played the second time, I realised I was more calm and Kaiyang did say I made a great improvement.
The moral of how to get yourself out of the rat race is seize every opportunity. My own opportunity or other opportunity. Grab hold of it to let yourself get out of the rat race by earning your first bucket of gold. To get onto the fast track, money multiplies exponentially.
ok. enuff of it. Anyway, one of the days had an inner conflict with Kaiyang. Cos he think he is damn good. but never mind already. Dun bother about him.
Its only the 3rd of June and I am already hoping that next month pay will come. Shit Man. Why am i always in lack. Its not tat I spend alot leh. Everytime I get my cash is to pay my debt. The debts I have was accumulative. All started when I was in M5. I am trying my best. I mean I dun think I spend alot compared to other pple ard me. Most of my cash came by paying stuff.
I wonder will i be able to pay WQ for class. Feel Paiseh. Maybe in the first place I shld not commit. DAMN. but I thought that if I din start somewhere I will never get started.
Plus school starts. Textbooks cost money too. Crap!
Tithe: 148
BF: 100
Phone bills: 100
Bel: 666 +60
Singing: 330
Mum: 250
All these adds up more den my salary. haha shit man. I need to roll money. ok the huge bulk goes to Bel. Cos I am hoping that can roll money in for me. GOD HELP!!
Now I am stretching my mind to the futhest to get extra cash. Opportunities pls come.
Ciao.
Recently, I have been going to a couple of talks learning more about how to start a biz. And yah again. fated to be exposed to Network Marketing.
I realised the Network Marketing I always knew was different this time. It wasnt about how good is the product or the marketing plan, but I was being exposed to the education side.
I got a chance to play cashflow game. I could say i suck at first time and I made a big mess.
I realised I was so panicky when stress and pressure sets in. Crap. The game taught me about the kind of life a person could experience in the area of our finanical world.
The game depicts real human life in a game. However, i would say its wasnt 100 percent accurate as it is onli a game. However, when I played the second time, I realised I was more calm and Kaiyang did say I made a great improvement.
The moral of how to get yourself out of the rat race is seize every opportunity. My own opportunity or other opportunity. Grab hold of it to let yourself get out of the rat race by earning your first bucket of gold. To get onto the fast track, money multiplies exponentially.
ok. enuff of it. Anyway, one of the days had an inner conflict with Kaiyang. Cos he think he is damn good. but never mind already. Dun bother about him.
Its only the 3rd of June and I am already hoping that next month pay will come. Shit Man. Why am i always in lack. Its not tat I spend alot leh. Everytime I get my cash is to pay my debt. The debts I have was accumulative. All started when I was in M5. I am trying my best. I mean I dun think I spend alot compared to other pple ard me. Most of my cash came by paying stuff.
I wonder will i be able to pay WQ for class. Feel Paiseh. Maybe in the first place I shld not commit. DAMN. but I thought that if I din start somewhere I will never get started.
Plus school starts. Textbooks cost money too. Crap!
Tithe: 148
BF: 100
Phone bills: 100
Bel: 666 +60
Singing: 330
Mum: 250
All these adds up more den my salary. haha shit man. I need to roll money. ok the huge bulk goes to Bel. Cos I am hoping that can roll money in for me. GOD HELP!!
Now I am stretching my mind to the futhest to get extra cash. Opportunities pls come.
Ciao.
Monday, June 2, 2008
lost touch
Hi there,
I haven been able to blog recently as been pretty busy. will update on those missing link soon.
Anyway, I love the 169 series product. And I know cheryl will love it.
I have tons of things to do actually. But time seems to be always running out.
Somehow working seems like a waste of time suddenly. haha.
Ok. Anyway, A is not realli there. I think both of us are crazy. I am actually meeting her tml. Hope to learn more things from her cos she studies the subject i love. Psychology. Goin to watch movie with her. Sex in the city.
Chris my boss, told me she wanna talk to me tml. A review on my performance. -_-
Ok will start bitchin abt a particular person soon. haha irritating guy.
well, hope clone is doing well with his M. haha. Clone!! Jia you. Dun admire so much. haha.
Ciao. 169 series Jia you!
I haven been able to blog recently as been pretty busy. will update on those missing link soon.
Anyway, I love the 169 series product. And I know cheryl will love it.
I have tons of things to do actually. But time seems to be always running out.
Somehow working seems like a waste of time suddenly. haha.
Ok. Anyway, A is not realli there. I think both of us are crazy. I am actually meeting her tml. Hope to learn more things from her cos she studies the subject i love. Psychology. Goin to watch movie with her. Sex in the city.
Chris my boss, told me she wanna talk to me tml. A review on my performance. -_-
Ok will start bitchin abt a particular person soon. haha irritating guy.
well, hope clone is doing well with his M. haha. Clone!! Jia you. Dun admire so much. haha.
Ciao. 169 series Jia you!
Friday, May 23, 2008
Prophecy to the dry bones
Hi there,
Blogging time. I so wanna drink teh terik now. So random cravings. Anyway i am here to blog abit hard to concentrate cos talkin to Clone abt M. yah Not me. its M. haha. and I am supposed to tell edda abt my baptsim.
Ok cut the long story short. I prophecy today!. Yes. Prophesy! I pray for someone in cell group which i din even see her before speak to her before definitely i dunno her. But i was telling God .. GOd i dunno wad to pray for her man. but i step out in faith n pray and yah i just pray. Later Rach pray for me.
She told me GOd wants to talk to me about strength. That i do not lean upon my own strength but strength of GOd. He has a great plan for me to prosper in things but I just need to rely on him wholeheartedly. I think it is for me. Cos during praise and worship, Holy Spirit told me. Not to focus on the blessings although I thank GOd for it but rather on the blesser which is GOd.
Today he made me speechless again. GOd u win. As Rach was praying for me I was praying in tongues. and He impresses on me this verse for Kayla. He did not give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of faith, love, hope and of a sound mind. And i begin to encourage her dun let fear get a hold of her be it in her past or future challenges. and blah blah blah.. and when i finish i saw her crying. I wonder wad happen. Later after cell, she begin to share with me so much tat she din even share to anyone except her doctor. And not even her family n bf noes abt it. I know GOd was using me as vessel to help her. Yah i Pray for her, encourage her and teach her how to go about her walk with God and even her own personal life. COOL LA! I was very happy after tat cell grp meeting. U ROCK!
Ok stupid weather. so hot. Opps i think I am hot!. COol La!.
ok gonna add some application to my blog now.
TTFN - Tata for now!
Blogging time. I so wanna drink teh terik now. So random cravings. Anyway i am here to blog abit hard to concentrate cos talkin to Clone abt M. yah Not me. its M. haha. and I am supposed to tell edda abt my baptsim.
Ok cut the long story short. I prophecy today!. Yes. Prophesy! I pray for someone in cell group which i din even see her before speak to her before definitely i dunno her. But i was telling God .. GOd i dunno wad to pray for her man. but i step out in faith n pray and yah i just pray. Later Rach pray for me.
She told me GOd wants to talk to me about strength. That i do not lean upon my own strength but strength of GOd. He has a great plan for me to prosper in things but I just need to rely on him wholeheartedly. I think it is for me. Cos during praise and worship, Holy Spirit told me. Not to focus on the blessings although I thank GOd for it but rather on the blesser which is GOd.
Today he made me speechless again. GOd u win. As Rach was praying for me I was praying in tongues. and He impresses on me this verse for Kayla. He did not give us a spirit of fear, but a spirit of faith, love, hope and of a sound mind. And i begin to encourage her dun let fear get a hold of her be it in her past or future challenges. and blah blah blah.. and when i finish i saw her crying. I wonder wad happen. Later after cell, she begin to share with me so much tat she din even share to anyone except her doctor. And not even her family n bf noes abt it. I know GOd was using me as vessel to help her. Yah i Pray for her, encourage her and teach her how to go about her walk with God and even her own personal life. COOL LA! I was very happy after tat cell grp meeting. U ROCK!
Ok stupid weather. so hot. Opps i think I am hot!. COol La!.
ok gonna add some application to my blog now.
TTFN - Tata for now!
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Recent updates of meow whereabouts
Wee.. I'm Back!
Haven been able to blog abt my genting trip. Erm.. I wont go thru the motion by tell u what i did. but rather something tat reflected in my mind when I played the free fall game.
It started off me Q-ing for the ride. However, I was not feeling well as I wanna puke after all the rides, I ate ice-cream. Its because of the milk tat makes me wanna puke. But whatever it is. I came all the way dere so just take it, the most puke lor.
Yah sat with jaslyn. The ride went up. And I commented, " Can I change my mind about this. I wanna go down and I dun wanna play any more." The moment i said tat i realised i was at the top already. So Good GOdess. Weee.... I fall down.. my heart dropped but thrill was the word. I wun mind taking again. although sweaty palms will be.
And after tat I realised. Many a times, we will tell ourselves, aiyah heck la. just do it. den any the end we realised we wana turn back but we cant just have to continue even though its scary and you could be all alone. Facing your fears, ur enemies or even death. So fight the good fight of faith. Ok I know randomness.
I watch chocolate on the bus back. She is good at fighting man. COOL LA!.
OK. I told clone abt mlm thing. mm.. i need to consider and reconsider. I think i will consult winson first. He was into this last time. and the other time at kota tinggi he advise me alot of things and maybe I shld my other daddy aka mentor, michael. and perhaps lastly my dad. cos i already expected wad my dad gonna say. Maybe he will pour cold water. I know clone dun realli agree to a certain extend. haha anyway. I will update about tat soon.
Yeah. Crazy clone. today so high on M&Ms. haha. ok la. He help me contacted WQ for vocal class. I wanna sing! I lost touch. so I shall start with vocals first den i will proceed to dancing. justin timberlake. woohoo.. This time i will try mtv dance. yeah.
For more photos check out my face book.
and yah. so far tats it. No much of deep thoughts cos there werent much of it.
Ciao. God Open the door that is for me and shut every door tat is not for me. HUGs =D
Meow!.
Haven been able to blog abt my genting trip. Erm.. I wont go thru the motion by tell u what i did. but rather something tat reflected in my mind when I played the free fall game.
It started off me Q-ing for the ride. However, I was not feeling well as I wanna puke after all the rides, I ate ice-cream. Its because of the milk tat makes me wanna puke. But whatever it is. I came all the way dere so just take it, the most puke lor.
Yah sat with jaslyn. The ride went up. And I commented, " Can I change my mind about this. I wanna go down and I dun wanna play any more." The moment i said tat i realised i was at the top already. So Good GOdess. Weee.... I fall down.. my heart dropped but thrill was the word. I wun mind taking again. although sweaty palms will be.
And after tat I realised. Many a times, we will tell ourselves, aiyah heck la. just do it. den any the end we realised we wana turn back but we cant just have to continue even though its scary and you could be all alone. Facing your fears, ur enemies or even death. So fight the good fight of faith. Ok I know randomness.
I watch chocolate on the bus back. She is good at fighting man. COOL LA!.
OK. I told clone abt mlm thing. mm.. i need to consider and reconsider. I think i will consult winson first. He was into this last time. and the other time at kota tinggi he advise me alot of things and maybe I shld my other daddy aka mentor, michael. and perhaps lastly my dad. cos i already expected wad my dad gonna say. Maybe he will pour cold water. I know clone dun realli agree to a certain extend. haha anyway. I will update about tat soon.
Yeah. Crazy clone. today so high on M&Ms. haha. ok la. He help me contacted WQ for vocal class. I wanna sing! I lost touch. so I shall start with vocals first den i will proceed to dancing. justin timberlake. woohoo.. This time i will try mtv dance. yeah.
For more photos check out my face book.
and yah. so far tats it. No much of deep thoughts cos there werent much of it.
Ciao. God Open the door that is for me and shut every door tat is not for me. HUGs =D
Meow!.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Shackoutdayz
I am tired. I think I gonna have headache dunno why. I am like damn shack out. I can doze off while typing. Period days makes me so tired. Just had prayer conference. I dunno why now my heart is feeling heavy. Pimple breakout due to periods too.
This is time best time. Cos i simply cant think. waiting for the damn file to open who on earth save tiff file in 1.7G. Madness. Its hanging my comp I took 3 hrs to dl and really long to even extract the files.
Genting time will be a time of solitude. I can go in a grp but I will feel that I will be in my own shell reading my own books. It would be great if Genting got clubs. But I doubt so. I din club with Fabian today la. I told him to jio me next month. Bo liew already la! Still got genting. I need to really eat grass liao. I think next month I gonna drag my clone for chiong man to celebrate his bday. But I dun think he will get drunk. more like i think I am the one. Cos i think that fabian sure get me down. Or maybe I should bring him to wala wala or timber. haha see how la. go maybe gotham penthouse I think he will like tat. There are hot guys which i will be so turn off. yeee....
I dun like the feeling of getting drunk. Cos the puking sucks. the sleepiness sucks
and the hangover sucks Roar!
But I love the music. Oh. I miss the shots at O bar. mmm...
Please don't stop the music..!!! haha. Ok self - high here.. But only certain people I like to go.
Frankly speaking I dun realli like to go with my gfs sometimes cos its not tat i dun like but sometimes wanan really play but still got to be abit more sober cos to ensure things are ok. But yah.
What the... I love mambo n rnb. but i think now i beginning to live rnb more. trance was never in my dictionary. depends I haven been like Jul so see how. aiyah tired liao.
Ciao
This is time best time. Cos i simply cant think. waiting for the damn file to open who on earth save tiff file in 1.7G. Madness. Its hanging my comp I took 3 hrs to dl and really long to even extract the files.
Genting time will be a time of solitude. I can go in a grp but I will feel that I will be in my own shell reading my own books. It would be great if Genting got clubs. But I doubt so. I din club with Fabian today la. I told him to jio me next month. Bo liew already la! Still got genting. I need to really eat grass liao. I think next month I gonna drag my clone for chiong man to celebrate his bday. But I dun think he will get drunk. more like i think I am the one. Cos i think that fabian sure get me down. Or maybe I should bring him to wala wala or timber. haha see how la. go maybe gotham penthouse I think he will like tat. There are hot guys which i will be so turn off. yeee....
I dun like the feeling of getting drunk. Cos the puking sucks. the sleepiness sucks
and the hangover sucks Roar!
But I love the music. Oh. I miss the shots at O bar. mmm...
Please don't stop the music..!!! haha. Ok self - high here.. But only certain people I like to go.
Frankly speaking I dun realli like to go with my gfs sometimes cos its not tat i dun like but sometimes wanan really play but still got to be abit more sober cos to ensure things are ok. But yah.
What the... I love mambo n rnb. but i think now i beginning to live rnb more. trance was never in my dictionary. depends I haven been like Jul so see how. aiyah tired liao.
Ciao
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
像我这样的 - Sun Ho
像我这样的
你会不会 来爱我
像我这样的
不够完美 洒脱
我为爱前进
梦想路程却满是伤痕 不愿退缩
Take a look at me 我不松开手
在失意的时候 用音符唱着我的
美丽哀愁
Take a look at me 吶喊的心头
彷佛再说 黑白对错
微笑面对我的生活
曾经有过 为梦想失去选择
也曾走过 不被祝福 热烈伤痕到
现在我还是我 为爱的执着
Take a look at me 我不松开手
在失意的时候 用音符 唱着我的
美丽哀愁
Take a look at me 吶喊的心头
彷佛再说 黑白对错
微笑 面对我的生活
对我来说 简单生活
会是我想要的 结果
It means of darkness where you find no reason to love. Not just bgr but love in every aspect, family. friends, people whom u cant love.
Sun love people therefore she went out to the entertainment industry, to be the salt and light of the earth.
But still a prophet is always hated by his/her own people.
Jiayou. To sun. and to the people out there. =D
The greatest is love.
你会不会 来爱我
像我这样的
不够完美 洒脱
我为爱前进
梦想路程却满是伤痕 不愿退缩
Take a look at me 我不松开手
在失意的时候 用音符唱着我的
美丽哀愁
Take a look at me 吶喊的心头
彷佛再说 黑白对错
微笑面对我的生活
曾经有过 为梦想失去选择
也曾走过 不被祝福 热烈伤痕到
现在我还是我 为爱的执着
Take a look at me 我不松开手
在失意的时候 用音符 唱着我的
美丽哀愁
Take a look at me 吶喊的心头
彷佛再说 黑白对错
微笑 面对我的生活
对我来说 简单生活
会是我想要的 结果
It means of darkness where you find no reason to love. Not just bgr but love in every aspect, family. friends, people whom u cant love.
Sun love people therefore she went out to the entertainment industry, to be the salt and light of the earth.
But still a prophet is always hated by his/her own people.
Jiayou. To sun. and to the people out there. =D
The greatest is love.
Do not abide in darkness
Talked to J this morning over msn. He told me somethings. But well, before even he tells me I already knew what was going thru him at this current state. This is a hard ground that needed help to change the condition of the soil to be able to grow new seeds again. Weather will always be an external factors in our lives that we are unable to expect and control. But intensive care is need to ensure the soil is plough, the seed is being watered and taken care of so that tree may emerge from here. REVIVE and REVITALISED.
I dun blame him for feeling and thinking and reactioning this way. Its perfectly normal reacting to such a life in a broken down word. What is meant for Good, has been abused. But the good news is God can change what is meant for evil to be good.
We are all humas after all. One life to live. Only way.. to live it well but how to live it well.. or rather How u define what is well? This is very subjective.
Partying all night, getting yourself drunk and making out with someone?
Travelling and have fun?
Getting a good career and have a family?
Being a millionaire?
Have great friends to chill out, hang out or stay over?
Being a superstar in the area of sports / entertainment etc?
Get that damn great guy or gal?
What is LIFE?
Life is a cycle of your actions. The only way to stop all the bad things from happening is to make a decision to stop the wrong things you been doing. But often the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. I agree totally.
Which I mention in my last blog:
Your Belief System + Your Values = Conceive as thinking/ thought patterns = Determine your actions = Define your reality/ destiny and in between the linking factor = emotions takes place.
and every one is doing everything and anything just for one thing :
So much for " MY HAPPY ENDING by Avril Lavigne. "
Everyone does this because they want to be happy but sometimes we are silly to do things that actually makes us more unhappy because of the spirit of deception is around.
WE were deceived to believe that certain things is or are good for us. Things that looks pleasureable, things that looks glamourous or may a times when we reach there we realised its not that great after all.
I am one of the victim I must say. I aint perfect but carrying onto perfection.
Friends, I urge u to not be weary in doing good but in due season you will reap a great harvest.
Anyway, to sum it all: His reply was:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart; and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he shall DIRECT your path straight.
Proverbs 3: 5-6
I am come a light into the world, that whoseoever believe on me shall not abide in darkness. John 12:46
This was what I saw, a confirmation from him.
Anyway, yest I finally gotten myself registered for MIS. Hopefully will be accepted and I pray hard that NTUC will fund me for it. Johoveh Jireh your my provider.
That all for now. ciaos.
I dun blame him for feeling and thinking and reactioning this way. Its perfectly normal reacting to such a life in a broken down word. What is meant for Good, has been abused. But the good news is God can change what is meant for evil to be good.
We are all humas after all. One life to live. Only way.. to live it well but how to live it well.. or rather How u define what is well? This is very subjective.
Partying all night, getting yourself drunk and making out with someone?
Travelling and have fun?
Getting a good career and have a family?
Being a millionaire?
Have great friends to chill out, hang out or stay over?
Being a superstar in the area of sports / entertainment etc?
Get that damn great guy or gal?
What is LIFE?
Life is a cycle of your actions. The only way to stop all the bad things from happening is to make a decision to stop the wrong things you been doing. But often the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak. I agree totally.
Which I mention in my last blog:
Your Belief System + Your Values = Conceive as thinking/ thought patterns = Determine your actions = Define your reality/ destiny and in between the linking factor = emotions takes place.
and every one is doing everything and anything just for one thing :
So much for " MY HAPPY ENDING by Avril Lavigne. "
Everyone does this because they want to be happy but sometimes we are silly to do things that actually makes us more unhappy because of the spirit of deception is around.
WE were deceived to believe that certain things is or are good for us. Things that looks pleasureable, things that looks glamourous or may a times when we reach there we realised its not that great after all.
I am one of the victim I must say. I aint perfect but carrying onto perfection.
Friends, I urge u to not be weary in doing good but in due season you will reap a great harvest.
Anyway, to sum it all: His reply was:
Trust in the Lord with all your heart; and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he shall DIRECT your path straight.
Proverbs 3: 5-6
I am come a light into the world, that whoseoever believe on me shall not abide in darkness. John 12:46
This was what I saw, a confirmation from him.
Anyway, yest I finally gotten myself registered for MIS. Hopefully will be accepted and I pray hard that NTUC will fund me for it. Johoveh Jireh your my provider.
That all for now. ciaos.
Train of thoughts ...
Hi, I am back.
It's office hours now. Well, I completed my stuff. Waiting for samantha to get back to me than I can seek boss approval to go ahead with the prints. Anyway to continue on how God blessed me back. He provided me this freelance job which was the amount I gave for building fund and on top of that he provided me with continuous assignments from this company. =D
Going to genting this friday to sunday. I hope and wish to really enjoy myself. Oh yes. I'll be going to MIS later.
So I hope everything goes smoothly for me too.
I have alot to blog about. About myself. About the things that happen. I believe God was dealing with me in the area of my emotions. Something happen last week and causes some "stuff" to happen. I would not want to explain so explicitly over here. However, the truth finally sank in. J took a step back after things happen. Two hands to clap but whatever was done, I knew that God was moulding and showing me that I have really got to wake up to my senses. It wasnt the emotional attachement that overwhelmed me. It I felt that I was losing a friend but more about the self - reproach that was going through within me. Emotions flactuates up and down inside of me. And I was wondering why J just can ignore about it. ( That reminds me of when I saw this book at attributes, it says something that woman need to know about man and Man see sex as different thing from woman.) Cool book.
Anyway, back to the story. yah I was reproaching myself. And Now GOd was really dealing with me. He gave me a revelation about myself and things that happen in my 23 years of living.
Qtns such as : Why I do what I do? or Why they do what they do.
Where do all these started? Does man really view things differently from woman? Does J even really know what I am feeling? At that moment I doubt that cos if he knew I would not have felt that way. It just makes me feel that guys are just irresponsible. Well, I am that kind of person You need to speak right into my heart even I have a problem. But I know Jerri is like me. Even without him telling me anything. Because I studied him. His actions, his language, his words, his family, his mindset.
God, he needs to have a vision, a dream from you for his life. You fill him with your everlasting love. Teach him how to love when others are not loveable. Teach him how to forgive and let go the things when people let him down and God also for good relationship in the family.
We ( I classified as we because we both wish for the same thing) We long to have our own family, have a wife/husband and have kids and form our so called "love nest". But the truth is many people do not understand is Whatever you left with your " old "family will be brought over to your own " new" family. That's why the phrase - Like father like son, or like mother like daughter came about. The truth we always seem to think that we wont be like our parents and stuff but high chances is we tend to be like them cause that how they brought us up. Whether we like it or not thats the truth.
Another thing is J cant love a person. Simply because he is closed up. Love = freedom. I know no matter what, even he can claim he love someone but I know in his heart is not fully cause He is too hurt, too tired and fears ecludes him. Hey bro, dun be silly k.
I went kota tinggi with lots of questions at the back of my mind. But I decided to go and have fun. Erm, Yah to certain extend I have some amount of fun. I had great time with Winson cause during this trip i get to know him better. That's the whole point I go for this trip is to bond with my colleagues. And yah, I got closer to rennie and elton too. Cool la.
During dinner, I let winson read my palm.. Forgot how we derived to there. But he say I am a very complicated person and I think too much. Bingo Man. That was the qtn I ask Jimmy on Fri nite. I ask him Am I thinking too much? I think I think too much. But its so uncontrollable. So He actually told me I might migrate out of Singapore. So weird. haha. Anyway, he din say much cause he say that I am too complicated to see. haha.
Anyway, yah Kota Tinggi firelies I sat with him in the boat. He is like a little kid. So cute. ( check out my facebook for photos man) He wanted to catch the fireflies den i was like holding his jacket in case he fall over the boat. haha. But elton caught it. 3 Cheers for you man!
In the bus, he was sharing with me alot of things. which is similar to what i learn during bible study last wed.
Your Belief System + Your Values = Conceive as thinking/ thought patterns = Determine your actions = Define your reality/ destiny and in between the linking factor? I realised emotions takes place.
Well, sunday service I bought Joyce Meyer book at attributes. " Managing Your Emotions" - She is a great female author and of faith and definitely a woman of God. I love her books. Knowledge is Power and I really dont to be where I am now. I hope I can break through this. God help me!!
I will blog more about what I learn from the book next time round. And I hope with what I have I wanna help my friends, people around me.
And lastly, Jerri, if you read this. I love you. Hugs. =D ( Don't anyhow think)
It's office hours now. Well, I completed my stuff. Waiting for samantha to get back to me than I can seek boss approval to go ahead with the prints. Anyway to continue on how God blessed me back. He provided me this freelance job which was the amount I gave for building fund and on top of that he provided me with continuous assignments from this company. =D
Going to genting this friday to sunday. I hope and wish to really enjoy myself. Oh yes. I'll be going to MIS later.
So I hope everything goes smoothly for me too.
I have alot to blog about. About myself. About the things that happen. I believe God was dealing with me in the area of my emotions. Something happen last week and causes some "stuff" to happen. I would not want to explain so explicitly over here. However, the truth finally sank in. J took a step back after things happen. Two hands to clap but whatever was done, I knew that God was moulding and showing me that I have really got to wake up to my senses. It wasnt the emotional attachement that overwhelmed me. It I felt that I was losing a friend but more about the self - reproach that was going through within me. Emotions flactuates up and down inside of me. And I was wondering why J just can ignore about it. ( That reminds me of when I saw this book at attributes, it says something that woman need to know about man and Man see sex as different thing from woman.) Cool book.
Anyway, back to the story. yah I was reproaching myself. And Now GOd was really dealing with me. He gave me a revelation about myself and things that happen in my 23 years of living.
Qtns such as : Why I do what I do? or Why they do what they do.
Where do all these started? Does man really view things differently from woman? Does J even really know what I am feeling? At that moment I doubt that cos if he knew I would not have felt that way. It just makes me feel that guys are just irresponsible. Well, I am that kind of person You need to speak right into my heart even I have a problem. But I know Jerri is like me. Even without him telling me anything. Because I studied him. His actions, his language, his words, his family, his mindset.
God, he needs to have a vision, a dream from you for his life. You fill him with your everlasting love. Teach him how to love when others are not loveable. Teach him how to forgive and let go the things when people let him down and God also for good relationship in the family.
We ( I classified as we because we both wish for the same thing) We long to have our own family, have a wife/husband and have kids and form our so called "love nest". But the truth is many people do not understand is Whatever you left with your " old "family will be brought over to your own " new" family. That's why the phrase - Like father like son, or like mother like daughter came about. The truth we always seem to think that we wont be like our parents and stuff but high chances is we tend to be like them cause that how they brought us up. Whether we like it or not thats the truth.
Another thing is J cant love a person. Simply because he is closed up. Love = freedom. I know no matter what, even he can claim he love someone but I know in his heart is not fully cause He is too hurt, too tired and fears ecludes him. Hey bro, dun be silly k.
I went kota tinggi with lots of questions at the back of my mind. But I decided to go and have fun. Erm, Yah to certain extend I have some amount of fun. I had great time with Winson cause during this trip i get to know him better. That's the whole point I go for this trip is to bond with my colleagues. And yah, I got closer to rennie and elton too. Cool la.
During dinner, I let winson read my palm.. Forgot how we derived to there. But he say I am a very complicated person and I think too much. Bingo Man. That was the qtn I ask Jimmy on Fri nite. I ask him Am I thinking too much? I think I think too much. But its so uncontrollable. So He actually told me I might migrate out of Singapore. So weird. haha. Anyway, he din say much cause he say that I am too complicated to see. haha.
Anyway, yah Kota Tinggi firelies I sat with him in the boat. He is like a little kid. So cute. ( check out my facebook for photos man) He wanted to catch the fireflies den i was like holding his jacket in case he fall over the boat. haha. But elton caught it. 3 Cheers for you man!
In the bus, he was sharing with me alot of things. which is similar to what i learn during bible study last wed.
Your Belief System + Your Values = Conceive as thinking/ thought patterns = Determine your actions = Define your reality/ destiny and in between the linking factor? I realised emotions takes place.
Well, sunday service I bought Joyce Meyer book at attributes. " Managing Your Emotions" - She is a great female author and of faith and definitely a woman of God. I love her books. Knowledge is Power and I really dont to be where I am now. I hope I can break through this. God help me!!
I will blog more about what I learn from the book next time round. And I hope with what I have I wanna help my friends, people around me.
And lastly, Jerri, if you read this. I love you. Hugs. =D ( Don't anyhow think)
Thursday, May 8, 2008
the welcome note
Apart from him, I can do nothing. Yes. I agree. I render powerless without the Holy Spirit.
I believe God was setting me up.
Opportunities are everywhere.. what is a good opportunity and what is a GOD-opportunity?
Seizing the opportunites in season.
Time after time, he has never failed to show me. I would say slow and steady even though my heart's was a little impatient sometimes.
Entrepreneurship class was a stepping stone for me. Michael Song, Boss of V.hive, was the facilitator aka my mentor. He is a humble man. He is like a Big daddy to me. He is old enuff to be my dad. Sharing his great life experiences also accompanied by spiritual truths has taught me grounds to take note in a business.
What deeply impacted me was Mich prohecy over me.
He prayed a mass prayer and individual prayer. I was the second that he prayed for. GOd gave him a word.
" He said that I do not have the spirit of fear but love, of faith, of hope and of a sound mind."
Be commited and steadfast in the Lord. I will rise up to be like J ( one of the female successor ).
Go forth in faith - vividly its like this.
Next, He places great people in my life such as MY CLONE, LEONARD, JEREMY, MEI YEE, to inspire me and bring me to another level of thinking and revelation.
Building fund period, super low in cash. Was convicted by the Holy spirit in one the cell meetings to fulfill my building fund. Seems like alot. well, the next day during service, I ask God.
Me: If I don't fulfill my building fund am i going to be cursed and not get any blessings from you?
God: No. I was not looking at how much you give or whether you fulfilled but rather your
atttitude of Giving.
Wow man. I was blowed away by such an answer. If GOd really speaks You gotta realli obey.
I was very lost that day indeed - abt my calling / my destiny / ideation of biz / because i want something to be of a substance. During service, I ask GOd to reveal and speak to me.
He was so evident that day, i felt like I was talking to a person. He was speaking through me in a still small voice, through pastor kong msg and visions and dreams. Immediately, I was enlighten.
He begin to remind me of the vision that He gave me during the first building fund. I was overjoyed. It left like a release in the spirit. He begain to fill me with ideas and concepts.
What? / Where? / When? / Why? / How? filled me.
Anyway, in faith the week after, I gave the building fund in faith , praying that GOd will provide.
Discouragement came from my mum but still I know in my heart when God speaks, I just need to do it. By faith I gave my tithe and building fund.
Guess What Happen Next?
Stay Tuned.
Sign off.
Fay
I believe God was setting me up.
Opportunities are everywhere.. what is a good opportunity and what is a GOD-opportunity?
Seizing the opportunites in season.
Time after time, he has never failed to show me. I would say slow and steady even though my heart's was a little impatient sometimes.
Entrepreneurship class was a stepping stone for me. Michael Song, Boss of V.hive, was the facilitator aka my mentor. He is a humble man. He is like a Big daddy to me. He is old enuff to be my dad. Sharing his great life experiences also accompanied by spiritual truths has taught me grounds to take note in a business.
What deeply impacted me was Mich prohecy over me.
He prayed a mass prayer and individual prayer. I was the second that he prayed for. GOd gave him a word.
" He said that I do not have the spirit of fear but love, of faith, of hope and of a sound mind."
Be commited and steadfast in the Lord. I will rise up to be like J ( one of the female successor ).
Go forth in faith - vividly its like this.
Next, He places great people in my life such as MY CLONE, LEONARD, JEREMY, MEI YEE, to inspire me and bring me to another level of thinking and revelation.
Building fund period, super low in cash. Was convicted by the Holy spirit in one the cell meetings to fulfill my building fund. Seems like alot. well, the next day during service, I ask God.
Me: If I don't fulfill my building fund am i going to be cursed and not get any blessings from you?
God: No. I was not looking at how much you give or whether you fulfilled but rather your
atttitude of Giving.
Wow man. I was blowed away by such an answer. If GOd really speaks You gotta realli obey.
I was very lost that day indeed - abt my calling / my destiny / ideation of biz / because i want something to be of a substance. During service, I ask GOd to reveal and speak to me.
He was so evident that day, i felt like I was talking to a person. He was speaking through me in a still small voice, through pastor kong msg and visions and dreams. Immediately, I was enlighten.
He begin to remind me of the vision that He gave me during the first building fund. I was overjoyed. It left like a release in the spirit. He begain to fill me with ideas and concepts.
What? / Where? / When? / Why? / How? filled me.
Anyway, in faith the week after, I gave the building fund in faith , praying that GOd will provide.
Discouragement came from my mum but still I know in my heart when God speaks, I just need to do it. By faith I gave my tithe and building fund.
Guess What Happen Next?
Stay Tuned.
Sign off.
Fay
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